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I am sure many of us can remember the days of being a child and quickly making friends with others our age. We bonded over whatever activities we mutually enjoyed being involved in. Many of us bonded over toys, sports, playing cards, or the love of playing in the mud. Yes, life was much simpler then and had not yet taken an emotional toll on us.
Now that we are older, we have experienced heartbreak and likely had close friends betray our trust to the point that it is harder to make friends as adults. Imagine if we could make friends as quickly as we did as kids… how much easier would life be again? We would swap cars, have sleepovers with our neighbors, and be less selective about who we hang out with.
Yet, that is not entirely possible. We are older, wiser, and more selective now. There are rules and the “weirdo” factor to consider. But even though our methods of making friends may have changed since we were kids, we can still benefit greatly when we are blessed with good friends and the ability to make new ones.
The Benefits of Making New Friends
Making new friends always opens the door to new possibilities. You have mutually bonded over something you both either like, or dislike. As you get to know them, you look for more things about them that you can relate to.
Some experts believe that making new friends is also good for your health. We tend to migrate towards people with a healthier routine, encouraging us to put aside our unhealthy lifestyle choices.
Additionally, doing so gives you a greater sense of purpose and belonging. You’ll experience improved self-worth, confidence and overall happiness.
Furthermore, making new friends helps you cope with life’s challenges… such as losing a job, the death of a loved one, divorce or a critical illness.
How Can Questions Help You Get to Know Someone Better?
Asking questions to get to know a new friend better can strengthen your initial connection with them. In addition, your questions can serve as detective and therapist. It’s a great way to uncover if the two of you share a passion for the same thing on a much deeper level. Moreover, it will reveal if there is a mutual interest in strengthening your connection with each other.
Just beware… you don't want to ask questions that violate a person's privacy because you're being too personal. However, as you ask the questions, you can look for non-verbal cues like their tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, and posture to tell you much about your new friend. This will tell you if your friend really cares about what you're saying, if they are a good listener and if they are truthful with you.
Finally, asking questions helps you stay true to your core values. By sharing with them what matters to you, their answers will tell you if it’s a match made in Heaven or want better left unpursued.
125 Questions to Ask a New Friend to Quickly Get to Know Them
Questions to Ask a New Friend About Things They Like
- What type of music do you listen to?
- What hobbies do you enjoy that others may find strange or weird?
- What was one of the best trips you ever took? What made it so great?
- What was the last book you read?
- What was your favorite TV show as a kid?
- Are you an indoor or outdoor person? And why?
- What is your favorite holiday? Why is this your favorite holiday?
- What is your favorite type of food to eat?
- Are you a dog, cat, or pet person at all?
- Are pineapples on a pizza really a thing? Would you eat them on your pizza?
- Would you say you are an extrovert or more introverted?
- Do you have a bucket list? If so, what is your next adventure?
- What is your favorite kind of ice cream? What toppings do you enjoy with your frozen treat?
- Are you an early bird, or do you prefer to sleep in?
- What is your favorite meal of the day, breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
- Who was your first celebrity crush as a kid? How old were you then?
- Who is your celebrity crush now?
- What is the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?
- Do you prefer eating out or getting takeout and eating at home?
- What is your favorite season of the year? And why?
- What is your favorite sport? Do you follow the sport on a professional level?
- Would you prefer to go camping and fishing, or to the beach?
- What are your pet peeves?
- What is your favorite childhood memory?
- What would you like to do on a typical birthday?
- Which do you prefer to listen to on your way to work, music, talk radio, or audiobooks?
- What is the #1 song that you cannot help but dance to?
- Do you play any musical instruments? If so, what do you play? If not, what would you love to be able to play?
- What is one thing that can make your day better in an instant?
- What is your favorite way to unwind?
- Which do you prefer, hot coffee or hot tea?
- If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy with the money?
- Out of all the things you own, what is your most prized possession?
- When you are alone, how do you like to spend your time?
- What is the best live concert that you have ever been to?
- What is your all-time favorite board game to play?
- Could you live a day without your cell phone?
- What is the most essential part of your daily routine?
- What causes are you the most passionate about?
Questions to Ask a New Friend About Their Desires, Dreams, and Fantasies
- If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be?
- Do you believe that all your dreams will come true?
- What is the wildest dream that seems the most impossible to accomplish?
- What would you do if you were rich and famous?
- If you could go back in time to any historical event, where would you go?
- If you could sit down and have a conversation with anyone past or present, who would it be?
- What would it be if you could start a business day with unlimited financial resources?
Questions to Ask a New Friend About Their Job/Career
- What is one job you would never want to have?
- What is your first priority after you get home from work?
- Who or what inspired you to choose the career you chose?
- What is the most fulfilling part of your occupation?
- If you could be doing any other line of work, what would it be?
- How long is your commute to work?
- How do you spend your commute to work?
- Does your job give you the option to work from home? If so, how do you enjoy it?
- How would you rate your bosses on a scale from 1 to 10, ten being the best?
- How well do you get along with your co-workers?
- Do you think you will continue working at this job long-term? Why or why not?
- What accomplishment are you most proud of in your current career?
- Would you recommend the line of work that you do to others searching for a rewarding career?
- What annoys you the most about your job?
- Are you able to take vacations regularly?
- What is your work-life balance like? Are you able to get off work to take care of personal matters?
- How old were you when you started working at your job?
- Do you have a side hustle, or have you considered getting one?
- Do you feel fulfilled in your current work situation? Does it give you a sense of accomplishment?
- What has been the best decision you have made concerning your career?
- What has been the worst decision you have made concerning your career?
- What part of your workday that you look forward to the most?
- What is the best compliment you have received about your work?
- What are common misconceptions that outsiders have about the work that you do?
- Are you open to advancement opportunities at your current employer?
- Are you the type to leave ‘work at work,' or do you tend to ‘take work home' with you?
- Where do you see yourself in your career in the next 5 or 10 years?
- Would your younger self be pleased with the career choices you have made over the years?
- What advice would you give to the younger version of yourself?
- Have you ever been labeled a workaholic?
- What qualities do you feel are most valuable in being a boss?
- What psyches you up the most to go to work every day?
- Do you think you will work as long as possible, or will you look to retire?
- What are your thoughts on having a professional mentor? Do you or would you have one?
- What is the best career advice you have ever received?
- Have you made friends on your job?
- What most surprised you when you started working at your current job?
- How do you deal with the stress of your job?
- Do you have any career accomplishments you wish to accomplish soon?
- If you could start all over again, would you choose the same career path?
- Was your family happy with your career choice?
- What have you learned the most in your current role on your job?
Questions to Ask a New Friend About Their Family
- Who is the best cook in your family?
- What family members do you most enjoy spending time with?
- If you could, would you have a larger family or keep it the same size?
- On average, how often are you able to visit with your family?
- Which member of your family has had the most significant impact on your life?
- What is your family’s origin?
- Is it hard living so far away from your family? If so, what do you miss the most about them?
- What is the most challenging part of living so close to your family?
- What is your favorite childhood story you can tell me about your parents or grandparents?
- Who always gives the best gifts for Birthdays, Christmases, etc.?
- Did you have a tight-knit family growing up?
- Would you like to have a family of your own one day?
- Does your family have family reunions regularly? If so, do you attend them?
- What is the greatest part of taking family trips?
- What is your least favorite part of taking family trips?
- What would you change about your upbringing, if anything?
- Does your family have any family traditions? If so, which is your favorite one?
- In what ways do you show love to your family?
- If you have children, in what way did you raise them differently than the way you were raised?
- Who is the glue person in your family that brings everyone together?
- Who in your family is your personality most like? How would you describe that personality?
Questions to Ask a New Friend About Things They Value The Most
- Who do you most admire? What is it that you admire the most about them?
- What type of volunteer work do you do?
- What makes you fill the most fulfilled in life?
- What bothers you the most when you look at the world today?
- How would you fix things at work that you find to be bothersome?
- What gives you the most peace in life?
- What gives you the most joy in life?
- What brings you the most happiness out in your life?
- How has your perspective of life changed in the past 10 years?
- What does someone have to do to earn your respect?
- What does a person have to do to gain your trust?
- What would you change if you could change anything in the world with the snap of a finger?
- What would it take to lose your respect?
- What would it take for someone to lose your trust?
- Have you ever given someone a second chance? Do you still believe in giving second chances after that experience?
- If you had 24-hours to live, how would you spend your final day on earth?
Final Thoughts on 125 Questions to Ask a New Friend to Quickly Get to Know Them
You can get to know a lot about your friends by asking open ended questions. Just be careful not to be overly intrusive into your friend’s finances or romantic history. For instance, asking questions about how much money they make, or how much certain things cost, may be going too far with a new friend. Similarly, asking questions about past romantic partners, failed marriages, or why they do not have children could shut down a good friendship before it gets started.
Keep your questions light-hearted and be willing to share your answers with them too. Institute and open book policy, but be sure to keep an eye on body language while doing so.
Follow these tips, and before long, these questions will turn into meaningful and fruitful conversation with a new friend! Like any relationship, friendships take work… but a true friend is worth the effort.
Finally, if you want to ask better questions, then watch this short, 20-minute course to learn how to have a great conversation with virtually anyone.