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There is a saying that you are supposed to trust your gut.
You should particularly trust these feelings when it comes to other people. If you get the feeling that someone doesn't like you, you may wonder if you should actually trust this feeling.
Ideally, people would come out and simply say what is on their mind. Because of societal customs and expectations, this hardly ever happens. Instead, you are left trying to figure out whether someone likes you.
So to help you out, this article will cover 15 signs that a person doesn’t like you and at the end of the post, we’ll cover a few simple strategies you can use to improve your overall “likeability” around people.
Let’s get to it.
1. They Keep Shutting You Out with Negative Body Language
Actions mean much more than words. Therefore, pay attention to someone's body language when they are around you.
If someone is drawn to you, you are going to see a lot of positive body language. They may stand closer to you. They could lean in to hear you better. They are also more likely to make constant eye contact with you because they are interested in whatever it is you are discussing.
On the other hand, negative body language is a sign that someone doesn't like you. If they have decided to shut you out, you may notice a few signs of negative body language. These include:
If you are noticing these signs of negative body language, there is a good chance the other person doesn't like you. No matter what they say, pay attention to their actions, as body language can give a lot away.
2. You Are Getting an Awkward Vibe
Everyone is going to be put in an awkward situation from time to time. Dealing with this discomfort is a part of life.
On the other hand, if the vibe is always off when you are around someone, this is a sign that he or she may not like you. If you feel like your interactions are forced, unpleasant, and incorrect, this could be a sign that your relationship is not positive.
If you are around someone who genuinely enjoys your company, you are going to feel this in your gut. You may not have a hard time keeping the conversation going because you two get along so well.
On the other hand, if the other person doesn't like you, the environment is going to feel like torture. Simply being around each other feels uncomfortable. A lot of statements are going to be forced.
The conversation is going to jump from place to place as people desperately grasping at straws to find something to talk about. This unpleasant feeling is not a sign of a healthy relationship.
Pay attention to the vibes you get in the back of your mind. If they are negative, the other person may not like you as much as you think.
3. Your Conversations Never Go Deeper Than the Surface
If someone genuinely cares about you, they want to know how you are doing. This means they want to know how you are really, truly doing.
They are going to ask questions that dive deep beneath the surface. They will remember what you talked about last time. They are going to think about what makes you happy, what makes you sad, and what makes you angry.
If someone really likes you, this conversation is going to feel like a breeze. It feels like nothing can get in the way.
On the other hand, if the conversation is short, devoid of emotion, and doesn't get any deeper than the surface, there is a good chance the other person doesn't like you. If the other person likes you, they would have a lot of important topics to discuss with you.
They might want to discuss friends, family members, and future plans. They would want to discuss what makes you happy and what makes you sad.
If these conversations never seem to happen, it is probably because the other person doesn't care. If the other person doesn't care, then he or she doesn't like you.
4. They Don’t Want to Touch You
When people think about physical contact, they instantly think about a romantic relationship. Obviously, physical touch is an important part of a romantic relationship.
In addition, physical touch is an important part of friendship as well. If someone doesn't seem to want to touch you, there is a good chance they simply do not like you.
For example, friends high five, shake hands, hug, and put their arms around each other from time to time. This is how friends bond with one another. It is critical to understand the importance of physical touch.
In contrast, if someone doesn't like you, they are going to hold off on physically touching you. They will never allow themselves to get close enough to you to touch you. Fist bumps will not happen. High-fives will not happen. Hugs and handshakes are a thing of the past.
Someone who doesn't like you and going to do everything that he or she can to minimize physical contact with you.
If you noticed that someone always tries to keep his or her distance from you, they probably do not like you. You should pay attention to these cues as they can be very important when it comes to how someone feels about you.
5. They Don’t Appear to Be Listening To You
Communication is the foundation of a strong relationship. Therefore, the other person should be listening to you.
If you find that you constantly have to go over the same topic, again and again, this is a sign the other person is not listening to what you have to say.
For example, they may ask the same question 3 times in a row because they simply do not care about the answer. Or, they may not remember that you are allergic to something, that you don't like something, or that a major emotional event happened in your life recently.
If someone likes you, they are going to pay attention to what you have to say. They will listen to what comes out of your mouth, read your emotions, and say something that is going to build on the conversation. After all, that is exactly what you are doing as you try to build a relationship.
If the other person doesn't like you, then what you have to say doesn't matter. Therefore, do not expect him or her to listen to what you have to say. What you have to say is not important to that person because you are not important to that person.
6. They Always Make Plans with Other People, But Not You
Social media is a powerful tool. You should pay attention to what your friends are doing. If you always try to hang out with someone, but he or she is never free, take a look at what is happening on social media.
For example, the other person may tell you that he or she cannot hang out with you because he or she is out of town. Then, just a few minutes later, you see a picture of him or her hanging out with someone else.
Clearly, he or she is not out of town. Therefore, why would that person lie to you about that? Why wouldn't that person simply say that they had plans with somebody else?
In this specific situation, there is a good chance the other person didn't tell you because they were afraid that you would ask to tag along. They may not want you to tag along because they may not like you. People's lives are never as good or as bad as they make them on social media.
On the other hand, this can also be an important tool if you are trying to define your relationship with someone else.
Pay attention to what is happening on social media. You may find that the other person is lying to you because they simply don't like you.
7. They Consistently Disappoint You
Friends are supposed to be there for each other. When you make plans with your friends, you expect them to carry them out. Sure, people are going to have an emergency sometimes a time.
Someone may get sick. There may be a family emergency. Their car might break down. These are all reasonable excuses and reasons for why someone might not be able to hang out with you. At the same time, these issues are not going to arise constantly.
If you find that the other person always appears to cancel on you after you have plans, this is a sign that may not like you. People do not want to create awkwardness or confrontation.
They are probably not going to tell you that they do not want to hang out. Instead, they are going to make excuses in order to avoid getting into an argument.
If you find that the individual constantly lets you down, he or she probably doesn't like you. In this situation, you should stop setting yourself up for disappointment. The other person isn't even making an effort to spend time with you.
8. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something
If someone doesn't like you, they are only going to talk to you when they need something. Even if the other person doesn't like you, they may still reach out to you if they feel like they can take advantage of you for something.
For example, they may ask you for food, money, or a ride somewhere. Of course, friends are going to help each other out on a regular basis.
On the other hand, this is something that will never go in the other direction. They will never talk to you unless they need something. Furthermore, they are not going to help you out if you need something.
If you notice that you are only spending time around someone when they need something, this is a sign that they may not like you. For example, you may reach out to them and ask them to hang out. They always seem to be busy.
Then, when they need something from you, they are suddenly free. If you notice these signs, the other person may not like you as much as you think. Nobody deserves to be taken advantage up like this.
9. They Never Initiate a Conversation with You
Whether you are in a romantic relationship or simply trying to build a friendship, it is important for this process to go both ways. In order for you to build a friendship with someone, you need to reach out to them.
Ask them how they are doing. See if they would like to get together. Try to remember things that you talked about last time so that you can follow up. This will show the other person that you genuinely care about them.
On the other hand, if you are the one initiating all the conversations, this is a sign that the other person may not like you. Of course, some people are naturally more extroverted than others.
At the same time, even the most introverted people are going to reach out to you from time to time if they like you.
If you stop reaching out to someone, and they do not reach out to you for several days, weeks, or even months, this is a sign that they do not like you.
After all, if they liked you, they would probably check in on you and make sure you are okay. They would eventually ask you to hang out again. Relationships of all types must go both ways.
10. The Smile They Give Off Is Not Genuine
Pay close attention to the way the person is smiling. Does their smile appear to be genuine? An honest smile is going to engage the muscles around not only the mouth but also the eyes. Therefore, take a look at their eyes. Do their eyes appear to be involved in the smile?
If the eyes do not appear to be engaged with the rest of the smile, this is a fake smile. Furthermore, it is a sign that they do not like you.
If someone you thought was your friend is not able to provide you with a genuine smile on a consistent basis, this is a sign that your friendship may not be as deep as you think it is.
Sure, we all have our bad days. Even your closest friends are not going to be happy every minute of the day. In contrast, if someone never appears to be able to produce a genuine smile around you, they probably do not like you. Pay attention to the quality of someone's smile.
11. Backhanded Compliments
A sure sign that someone is not particularly fond of you is when they give you backhanded compliments. But, unfortunately, the praise is usually given to you in an unassuming way that contradicts the enthusiasm they seem to have in their voice.
My friend, Paul, and his co-worker Laura seem to be strong acquaintances since they were hired at the same time and went through orientation together.
The two shared the same determination to grow their careers and rose in the ranks together in the company… even having similar accomplishments and awards along the way.
However, when the time came to promote a new sales director, Laura was given the promotion over Paul. After the company announced the decision, Paul smiled and congratulated Laura, saying, “I guess they give promotions to anybody, especially if they suck up to the boss enough.”
There may be more to Paul's feelings than being jealous of her success.
Some comments like Paul’s are harmless jokes. Still, usually, there is a great bit of revelation into a person's feelings when they say those things. Especially if you aren't particularly close and question your status with them (if they like you or not).
12. Don't Immediately Answer Your Text Or Fail To Call You Back
When a person doesn't like you, they will often dodge your phone calls and text. I have done it, and most people I know do it too. Most of us have our cell phones close to us, and we can answer them within a couple of rings.
If we miss it, we promptly call back. If we miss a text, we respond right away. However, if it is from a person we don't care to talk with, we either don't call back or respond hours to days later.
13. Constantly Moving Away From You During A Conversation
If you are talking to a person and they are constantly moving away from you as you try to hold a conversation with them, chances are, they may not like you and don't care to speak with you at all. Especially if this happens every time.
For example, Buck and Tracy were at a meeting that had just ended. Upon speaking to everyone afterward, Tom, a guy they dislike, begins talking to them.
The more Tom talked, the more they moved closer to the exit. To stand back and watch, it looked like Buck and Tracy were being chased out of the building. Tom didn't get the hint that they did not like him, even though it happened whenever he spoke with them.
It is essential to take a step back to understand your relationship with others by the subtle hint they may be giving you.
14. They Don't Accept Your Friend/Follow Requests On Social Media
Sometimes we meet someone, hit it off quite nicely, and we desire to know more about them and keep in touch.
After looking them up on social media, we send them a friend or follow request… but they either reject the request, ignore it, or don't follow us back. That may be a good sign that they shared a different sentiment about the meeting than we did.
15. They Can’t Take A Joke
One of the things we really enjoy about our friends is the fact they understand our humor and find it funny. Unfortunately, when someone secretly doesn't care for you, they can't take your jokes.
Anything you say, they can't find the humor in it. And if it is a little joke about them, they take it badly and quickly get offended. We often say people like this are sensitive and lack a thick skin, but it could be that they don’t like you at all.
My wife and I used to hang out with this couple, Chris and Nikki, who had been dating for 9 months. During that time, Chris has been around her parents numerous times. Chris even spent Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays together with them.
Because of this, Chris felt he had made a good impression on Nikki's dad and wanted to ask him for her hand in marriage. So, when he asked, he stated he would like to “Take Nikki off his hands.”
Chris thought he and Nikki’s dad had a good rapport and he would get the humor. He was nervous and tried to be humorous about the situation, but he meant no harm. Yet Nikki's father not only let him know that he didn't see the humor in what was said but shared his dislike for Chris as well.
How to Make Someone Like You Better
If you want to build relationships with your family members, friends, and a significant other, you need to know how to make people like you. Of course, you want people to like you for who you are.
On the other hand, if someone gets turned off before they get to know the true you, this is going to make it hard to build a relationship. Some of the ways that you can get people to like you better include:
These are a few of the easiest ways that you can make people like you better.
If you focus on being a genuine person, caring about other people, and communicating effectively, you will have a better chance of getting people to like you. That way, you will have a stronger support system in your life, which is an important part of your overall health and wellness.
Final Thoughts on Signs People Don’t Like You
In our society, we have norms and customs that we follow. Therefore, if someone doesn't like you, it is highly unlikely that the individual is simply going to say it right to your face.
Most people want to avoid awkwardness and confrontation when they can. Instead, you have to focus on the signs that someone may not like you. If you notice these signs, your relationship may be dying.
Fortunately, there are ways that you can get other people to like you. Put a few of these tips to use and convince other people to like you for who you are.
And if you're looking for resources to help you do this, check out these blog posts:
- 21 Friendship Goals to Focus on With Your Good Friends
- 11 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Communication Skills
- 15 Social Hobbies to Meet People and Make Connections