137 Conversation Starters & Questions for Couples

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Do you feel like the ‘head over heels' train is almost coming to a halt and turning to be the ‘what's for dinner' type of conversation? 

Don't let things get there. Excellent communication is one of the most critical ingredients of a long-lasting relationship. Coming up with the correct conversation starters for couples is not an easy task for most of us. 

That is why this article lists 137 conversation starters to help couples start and carry on with a more meaningful conversation.

Whether you are a new couple looking to know each other better or have been a couple for several years, there are tons of questions for couples that you can ask your partner to get that conversation flowing. 

Depending on what you are doing and the mood in the air, make sure your conversation starters match with the moment.

If you are just doing dishes, having dinner, or simply relaxing on the couch, there is always something beautiful, serious or light-hearted to ask that can stir up a good conversion, and who knows? You may end up learning something quite interesting about your spouse that you knew nothing about.

But before we get to that exciting part, let's find out what conversation starters for couples are. 

What are Conversation Starters for Couples?

A conversation starter for couples is a statement or question that acts as an ice breaker and prevents those awkward moments of sudden silence.

They help keep conversations flowing for couples without feeling as if you are forcing the talks. Simple statements or straightforward open-ended questions can really get the conversation going, especially when you are doing things together.

Having a better understanding of your better half makes everything about your relationship easier. It is the same reason why people date or marry their best friends.

You are happier when you date or marry your best friend. The whole point about it is that it is easier to start a conversation with your best friend than someone you simply love.

Knowing how to start a great conversation is an art by itself, so feel free to explore the list to find out what works for you.

Now let's get down to business!

General Conversation Starters & Questions for Couples

  1. Do you consider yourself an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert?

Want to find out if your better half is a reserved homebody, an approachable and outgoing buddy, or simply a mix of both? Then pop this one out.

  1. If you had enough money to help you follow your passions, what would you pursue?

Listen keenly and be patient because the answer may be coming from Mt Everest. You are most likely going to get a response of her most extraordinary things. Remember, this is not your time to be judgmental.

  1. What is the biggest thing you are looking forward to this coming week? Or are you not looking forward to?

This is the best question to ask someone who is always busy but made some time for you. It shows that you care about other things that matter in his life.

  1. What makes you really happy?

Maybe it's that cup of steaming coffee that you make for him every day. Or that love message you write every morning or that Ps5 you bought him a few months ago. Time to find out!

  1. If you were asked to pick only one type of food to eat it for the rest of your life, what would that be?

This one is for pure fun. If it's your first or second date, brace yourself for your other half's favorite meal. Something you will have to acquaint yourself with, that will make anniversary planning easier.

  1. What is the strangest thing your date ever did that turned you off completely?

Is it snoring too loud? Nasty constant smirks? Or was it that irritating noise when taking coffee? Whatever it is, find out and laugh it out if it's funny. It will help you know what to avoid.

  1. If you won a lottery today, what is that one thing that you would buy first?

She will definitely get something that she badly needs. Don't waste this chance. If it's something you can afford, why don't you arrange it for her birthday and be her superhero?

  1. What kind of date do you consider romantic?

Pay attention to this one. It will help you understand your partner deeper. Who knows, you will find out what to get for his birthday. You will also know whether you are dating a romantic person or you have some training to do.

  1. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not everyone does, so be open-minded.

  1. What makes you dislike someone?

Betrayal? Too much ego? Don't guess, just wait for it. It might be something too unique.

  1. Which career did you admire most when you were young?

Coming from a family of doctors or engineers? What do you expect? For younger folks, it could be something odder like the garbage guy, the mailman, or the truck driver. Just listen and laugh it out.

  1. If you were asked to choose a country that you would like to live for the rest of your life, which country would you choose?

Iceland? Tanzania? Fiji? Or home is best? This one's for fun, but be keen it could just be the right question to help you find out your next vacation. Free tip—make it a surprise.

  1. What is that one thing you would wish to change about yourself?

Remember to keep your opinion to your heart. This is where you get to learn the kind of person you are dealing with and where you should come in and help.

  1. What are your five core personal values?

Values are essential in any relationship. They don't have to be similar to yours, and they also should not break yours. So, find out early if they are the deal breakers in your relationship.

  1. Do you have an activity that you enjoy doing alone?

It could be a hobby or an activity that requires a lot of silence and concentration. Maybe you should join him in his mancave? You never know how it would end until you try.

  1. What was the strangest punishment your parents ever gave you?

Find out how you ended up marrying or dating such a weirdo. It could be coming from the parents. What if there were no punishments?

  1. What do you miss most about your childhood, and would you go back to childhood if you had the chance?

Is it the get home parties where all cousins would meet and share some naughty ideas that ended up ruining the family unions? Whatever it is, don't be surprised to find out that your spouse would like to go back to his little self.

  1. Do you have a secret that you have never shared with anyone?

Don't look for a yes or no. Drive the question home and enquire whether they would like to share, and let's hope it is not that bad.

  1. When are you most productive and least productive?

They could either be productive in the morning or during the day. Some people are more active at night. Find out the type of partner you are dating.

  1. What is that petty and common thing that people do that really get on your nerves?

Could it be something you do? Find out today and clear the air.

  1. What was the most motivational and uplifting thing you ever listened to about yourself, and who said it to you?

We have all, at some point, heard something very uplifting about ourselves that motivated us to do more. This moment is every more special when the very words we want to hear comes from the people we love.

  1. What was your favorite game as a child, and which toy did you treasure most?

Did he like Lego and pulling girls' hair as a game? He must have been a naughty boy but with an exciting childhood.

  1. If you were asked to give a presidential speech, what would you talk about?

Want to know the kind of person you are dating? This question will get you straight to the point. Ask out loud and wait patiently for those words.

  1. What is your most embarrassing moment during childhood?

We have all been there. Maybe her embarrassing moment could have been worse. Have some fun as you listen. You are allowed to laugh.

  1. If you had the powers to change yourself into anything, what would that be?

Another fun way to help you know more about your better half. Don't guess; the answer is coming shortly.

  1. What is the most humorous myth you ever heard about yourself?

That you have a habit of hyperventilating before girls? That you can see backwards? Whatever it is, we all know it's a myth.

  1. What is the craziest thing that ever happened at your workplace?

Coffee on a computer with an incomplete project? That must have been the worst day, not crazy.

  1. Which memorable lesson did you learn the hard way?

We learn best when we make mistakes. Your partner is no exception.

  1. What are you most grateful for in life?

It could be you, his family, her new job, or her new life with you in general. It is just wonderful to know that your partner is grateful to have you around. This one will get the conversation going in the right direction.

  1. If all crimes were made legal for a single day, which offense would you commit?

Find out the kind of person you are dating with this single question. It can turn out to be an interesting one if you engage your partner the right way.

  1. When last did you cry? And why? 

It could be last night or today morning when she woke up. This is a great conversation starter that will help understand your girlfriend or wife, more particularly her struggles.

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  1. What was your biggest mistake in life, and how did you deal with it?

This question works well if you were talking about work or business. It shows that you care about your partner's welfare and also helps you learn the type of person they really are.

  1. Which characteristic do you think is necessary for a long-lasting relationship?

Respect, love, care, listen to all of them, and take notes.

  1. What is the easiest way to make you feel happy and special?

In most cases, it is easy. A simple peck, hug, or some little cuddles does the magic.

  1. If today was your last day on earth, what would you do?

Visit the entire Hawaii? Party all through? Find out what to do for her to make her feel special.

  1. What is that thing about your life that you keep postponing or ignoring?

We all have that one thing that we skip. Listen to the answer; you may just be the right motivation to accomplish it.

  1. Have you ever faked (not being yourself) on a date just to impress? How did it go?

This is an interesting one. It is a great conversation starter that will lead to an exciting conversation. Share yours too.

  1. If you could be a character in a popular movie or tv show, who would you like to be and why?

Rick Grimes of the Walking Dead? Or the Professor of Money Heist. Find out!

  1. What is the craziest thing you ever did when angry?

What is your spouse capable of? Find out how you can help them manage their anger, or whether its another deal breaker.

  1. Ever thought how humans would look like in the next 100 years?

Is your spouse a scientist, as he claims? This question will help you know the truth.

  1. If money were never an object for you, what would you do differently?

This conversation starter also helps you understand your spouse in various aspects like his true behavior, his loyalty, and his passions.

  1. What best describes you when angry, crying, shouting, knocking things down, or silence?

Know what to expect when your partner is angry by posing this question, and don't forget to share your side and discuss how both of you can work things out whenever one of you is angry.

Conversation Starters About Your Relationship

  1. If I wasn't your partner today, what aspect of your life do you think would have changed completely?
  2. Which act or gesture do you consider romantic?
  3. What romantic words do you think I should use more often?
  4. What do you think is our biggest strength as a couple?
  5. Apart from us, which other couple do you admire?
  6. Do you believe in sharing our problems with your friends and family to help with advice and ideas?
  7. Have you, at any one point, felt insecure in this relationship?
  8. Have you ever given up on something because of love?
  9. What is your biggest fear in our relationship?
  10. What aspect of our relationship do you like most?
  11. What is the most painful thing to hear from someone you love?
  12. Are you secretly embarrassed about something about me?
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  1. What is your worst relationship experience?
  2. Do you believe in second chances?
  3. If you could invent something for the world, what would it be?
  4. Who was your superhero as a child, and why?
  5. What's your favorite thing about me?
  6. If you had powers to change anything about me, what would that be?
  7. Do you think it is proper to discuss our finances?
  8. Which activities or hobbies would you like us to try as a couple?
  9. Do you think it is essential for couples to maintain their own separate identities
  10. What memories about us do you value most?
  11. What is the hardest part of balancing work life and family life?
  12. What would you consider worse emotional or physical cheating?
  13. What was the best relationship advice you ever received and from who?
  14. Which personalities about us do you think complement each other?
  15. What are your five relationship goals?
  16. What do you think we can do to strengthen our relationship?
  17. Which practices best describe our relationship?

(Looking for more questions? Here's our post on romantic questions for couples and romantic questions for your boyfriend.)

Great Conversation Starters About Family Life

  1. What caused the fall out between you and your friends?
  2. Have friends ever been a factor when deciding whom to date or marry?
  3. Have you ever tried to act nice around an old friend who you secretly dislike?
  4. What is that thing you love doing, but other people find it gross?
  5. What did you find normal in your family when you were young, but seems weird now?
  6. If you were to choose between family and money, what would you go for?
  7. Which unique character did you take from one of your parents?
  8. How do you deal with a situation where your parents don't agree with your decisions?
  9. What is that thing many people are afraid of but you aren't?
  10. Do you prefer to trust people or not trust people? Why?
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  1. Have you ever had a serious fight with your parents? How did you solve it?
  2. Do you believe in the ‘family comes first' phrase?
  3. What is the worst thing a friend did to you that you will never forget?
  4. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had to lie to for a friend or family?
  5. What age did you realize that your parents were just humans with flaws like everyone else?
  6. What did you learn from your parents that you still practice to date?
  7. What is the biggest favor you ever did for someone?
  8. What are your two most significant events in your life? 

Serious Conversation Starters About Your Careers

  1. Do you have a mentor, or would you wish to have one in the future?
  2. How do you help someone improve in their career?
  3. What is the most rewarding thing about your daily routine?
  4. Do you have a specific principle that you follow, no matter the circumstance?
  5. What do you hope to achieve in the next five years?
  6. What was your favorite book when you were growing up, and why?
  7. Is your current job your dream job?
  8. If you were to go back to the drawing board and choose a new career, what would it be?
  9. How do you deal with life challenges?
  10. What is that idea that someone shared with you that you think you should have known sooner?
  11. What motivates you to work even harder?
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  1. In your career, is there something you feel is missing, or you should work on to achieve goals?
  2. Which job do you think you were born to do?
  3. If you were to open a business today, what type of business would you go for?
  4. What was the most significant career opportunity you have ever been given?
  5. When you achieve something big, how do you reward yourself?
  6. Do you work better under pressure or when relaxed?
  7. Have you ever been involved in substantial financial losses? How did you recover?
  8. What should come first according to you: work or family?

Fun and Interesting Conversation Starters 

  1. What is the most embarrassing phase of your life?
  2. Have you ever kissed someone accidentally? How did it go?
  3. What is that thing you like doing that you consider useless and unbeneficial?
  4. Which daily personal activity do you dislike doing?
  5. Between horror, science fiction, and romance movies, and books, what would you choose?
  6. What disgusts you more, a dirty kitchen or a dirty bathroom?
  7. Which is your weirdest habit?
  8. What is the most traumatic moment you have ever gone through?
  9. Which three words best describe your personality?
  10. What is the telltale sign of a shallow-minded person according to you?
  11. What is that thing that you did as a child, you consider childish but still do it today?
  12. What is your favorite season of the year?
  13. Have you ever caught your parents in a compromising situation?
  14. If you had to kill one person to save ten more, would you do it?
  15. Do you ever think about your death?
  16. What would you like people to remember about you when you die?
  17. Where is your happy place, and how often do you visit it?
  18. If you had to erase a movie from your mind, which one would it be?
  19. Do you have any childhood experiences that you feel you missed out on? 
  20. If you had one chance to choose one person and tell them one word, who would you pick and what would you say?
  21. What was your worst nightmare?
  22. Have you ever wished you were born on another planet?
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  1. Which subjects did you like or hate in school?
  2. What is that nasty behavior that you try to do whatever you are alone?
  3. Do you consider yourself as forgiving to the extent that you can forgive anything under the sun?
  4. Which habit did you like doing but stopped?
  5. Have you ever battled something on your own? What was the outcome, and did you make it?
  6. What is that myth that you grew up knowing but found out recently that it is a myth?
  7. Which neighborhood scandal do you remember that happened when you were growing up?

Final Thought on Conversation Starters for Couples

Conversation starters can help both dating, and married couples build a more in-depth conversation and increase the respect and knowledge for each other. By asking relevant and on-point questions, thinking is stimulated, and the natural flow of a conversation is created.

Whether it is a first date or the 1000th date, take the wheel and start your conversations with some of the conversation starters for couples from this list, and I promise you, everything will flow like fine wine. Remember to choose the right moment for the question, and don't forget to be a good listener. 

Prefer getting to know each other via texts? Here's a list of conversation starters for texting!

If you're looking for more interesting questions to ask, be sure to check out thee blog posts:

Finally, if you want to ask better questions, then watch this short, 20-minute course to learn how to have a great conversation with virtually anyone.

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