141 Questions to Ask Yourself to Find Out Who You Are

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I love self-reflection. Sometimes I go on long walks in the early morning or late evening when few people are around so I can be in my own head. Doing so enables me to “think out loud” while feeling at one with nature.

At home, I often play flute-based meditative music to help me start thinking about my day, to have a “wake up call” from slumber. When one feels calm and serene, it's a good time to contemplate questions to ask yourself.

How Does Asking Questions Promote Self-Awareness?

Asking yourself deep questions can help you dig into the core of your being and find out who you are as an individual. Often we get into the habit of thinking about ourselves in the third person, looking at our lives from a distance.

This can be helpful in some cases, but you won't know who you are until you ask yourself questions and develop insights based on your responses. 

It's important not to judge yourself when you ask yourself questions. You don't need to hold anything back, and nothing is ever wrong. Sometimes asking yourself hard questions can be stressful.

However, not knowing the answer doesn't make you a failure. Asking yourself difficult questions is often how we learn about ourselves and grow as individuals.

We also shouldn't be afraid of the answers that we might find when we ask ourselves questions. Questioning yourself doesn't have to look like an assignment; it should be a process that's fun and promotes self-growth.

Why is it important not to judge yourself when you ask these questions? When you don't judge yourself, it means that whatever answer you get from your question is okay. If you ask yourself, “What do I value?” and you respond that you value money over family, that's okay.

What matters is not the answer to the question; what matters is understanding who you are as an individual.

141 Questions to Ask Yourself to Find Out Who You Are

  1. What were you like as a child?
  2. What activities do you enjoy most?
  3. How do you define success?
  4. What is your favorite food?
  5. What makes me forget the bad things in life?
  6. Who was your first crush and what were they like?
  7. What is your earliest childhood memory?
  8. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Why do you think so?
  9. Who do you admire the most and why?
  10. What are your thoughts on organized religion?
  11. What is your biggest fear/phobia that keeps you up at night?
  12. What is the most significant thing you have learned from your parents?
  13. What did you want to be when you were a child and why did that change over time?
  14. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
  15. Do you think of yourself as a good person? Why or why not?
  16. If someone were to describe you, what would they say?
  17. How would your best friend describe you in three words?
  18. What makes you angry and how do you deal with anger appropriately?
  19. When was the last time that you cried, and why?
  20. What's something that you're afraid to tell someone? Why do you feel like you can't say it out loud?
  21. Do you have any guilty pleasures, ie. TV shows, movies, books, etc.? If so what are they and why do you enjoy them despite feeling guilty about them?
  22. What is your biggest dream?
  23. What's something you're proud of yourself for accomplishing?
  24. Who do you admire and why?
  25. What skills do you wish you had that you currently don't have?
  26. If you could pick one, would you rather be poor or rich? Why?
  27. What's something that you don't want to do, but once you start doing it you realize that it wasn't so bad?
  28. What is your favorite book series and why?
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Asking yourself difficult questions is often how we learn about ourselves and grow as individuals.
  1. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  2. What makes you most uncomfortable and why?
  3. What is the best compliment you've ever received?
  4. What do you think has been your biggest accomplishment, thus far in your life?
  5. What's something that gets on your nerves and makes you angry?
  6. If you had to choose, would you rather be blind or deaf?
  7. What would your perfect day consist of?
  8. Do you enjoy spending time with yourself and why or why not?
  9. Which of your friends do you feel like you're most different from, and why?
  10. If money wasn't an issue at all, what is the number one thing you would do regularly?
  11. If you were reincarnated as an animal, which one would it be and why?
  12. Do you think that there is such a thing as fate? Why or why not?
  13. What's something that you love about yourself that other people probably can't see or find weird?
  14. If you could live your life doing anything, even if it was illegal, what would it be and why?
  15. When was the last time that you felt powerful? What happened to make you feel this way?
  16. What's something worth waiting for in life? Why do you want to wait until it happens?
  17. What other languages do you speak, and how did you learn them?
  18. If you could wake up tomorrow as a different person, but with the same characteristics and traits you have now, who would it be and why?
  19. Do you believe in the afterlife?
  20. What is your biggest goal in life?
  21. What is your favorite game or game series?
  22. If you could be best friends with one famous person, who would it be and why?
  23. What's something that you're afraid of sharing with others? Why do you feel this way about it?
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  1. What would your ideal vacation involve? Who would be with you?
  2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be and why?
  3. What is something you used to love doing but don't do anymore? because someone else made you feel bad about it?
  4. How do you make difficult decisions?
  5. Who would you say is your biggest inspiration and why?
  6. What's the best gift that you have ever received?
  7. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
  8. Is there anything that you wish other people knew about you? If so, what is it?
  9. Is there a deceased family member or close friend you wish could see you now?
  10. If you suddenly became a multi-millionaire overnight how would you spend your money?
  11. What is the most embarrassing moment of your life and what did you learn from it?
  12. Is there something that happened recently, where if time was going backward, you would go back and tell yourself to handle the situation differently?
  13. What kind of music do you enjoy listening to the most and how did you discover your favorite bands/artists?
  14. Do you consider yourself a friend to others? Why or why not?
  15. What is one thing people might think is weird about you?
  16. What is your favorite movie and why?
  17. If you could go into outer space, would you want to do it, and if so what would be the first thing you'd want to do when you got there?
  18. Who was your childhood hero and why?
  19. If you were a dictator for one day, what would you do and why?
  20. What is your most significant life-changing experience? How did it shape you into the person you are today?
  21. If someone made a movie about your life (without your permission), what would you want the main plot points and story to be?
  22. What is the biggest lesson you have learned growing up?
  23. Who in your life has had the biggest impact on who you are today?
  24. What gets under your skin and why does it happen?
  25. If you could relive one day of your life, which day would it be and why?
  26. Which parent are you most like and why?
  27. What skill do you have that most people don't know?
  28. When was the last time that you helped someone else without expecting anything in return?
  29. Is there something that you wish you could let go of but you just can't?
  30. What is something that you have done in the past that if you knew everyone would find out, you wouldn't have done it?
  31. If someone close to you helped you move, what three things would they NOT be allowed to touch?
  32. Name one thing you would never do under any circumstance?
  33. What are some simple pleasures in life that have helped you get through hard times?
  34. If you could name yourself anything without taking other people's feelings into account, what would your name be?
  35. When was the last time you made a big mistake? How did you handle it?
  36. What do you think is the most important thing for a happy life?
  37. What makes you feel safe and secure?
  38. How do you let go of grudges and forgive people who have hurt you in the past?
  39. Who was the last person that surprised you? How did they do it?
  40. What is the last big change you made to your life and why did you do it?
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Asking yourself questions can help you dig deep into the core of your being and find out who you are as an individual.
  1. Is there something or someone that you are afraid of? If so, why are you afraid of it/them?
  2. If you could invent something, what would it be and how would it help people?
  3. If you believe in reincarnation, who or what would you come back as?
  4. How do you handle a stressful situation that you cannot change?
  5. What is one thing that makes you incredibly happy and why does it make you happy?
  6. Do you prefer more alone time or do you need to be around a lot of people and why?
  7. What makes you cry?
  8. What scares you the most?
  9. What do you look forward to in the future?
  10. What scares you about the future?
  11. What do you do most often when alone?
  12. What is your strangest pet peeve?
  13. What one book has had the greatest impact on your life?
  14. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?
  15. Excluding family/pets, what one thing would you save in a fire?
  16. What do you want your epitaph to say?
  17. If you could choose your child's gender, would you?
  18. Who are your current role models? Why?
  19. What past fashion item do you want to be brought back?
  20. Could you live off-grid happily?
  21. If the food on your plate was still moving, would you eat it?
  22. If you curse, what is your most often-used word?
  23. Did you ever have a nickname you disliked?
  24. If you could live forever, would you?
  25. What makes you feel loved?
  26. If your child came out as gay, how would you react? What about as transgender?
  27. What is your biggest deal-breaker in a relationship?
  28. Do you feel you know your purpose in life?
  29. If you could have any one question answered, what would it be?
  30. Would you rather lose the ability to move or to think rationally?
  31. If you started your own business, what would it be?
  32. Can you name three things you share with an ancestor, such as physical trait, hobby, birthday, etc?
  33. Where was your secret hiding place as a child?
  34. Would you sail through the Bermuda Triangle?
  35. Would you rather be a teacher or a student?
  36. What songs are on your “cheer up” playlist?
  37. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it?
  38. If you could ask your GGG-grandparent anything, what would it be?
  39. If you were in a circus, what would your act be?
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Questioning yourself doesn't have to look like an assignment; it should be a process that's fun and promotes self-growth.
  1. What never fails to put you in a good mood?
  2. What is one thing you've always wanted to try but fear keeps stopping you?
  3. If you have a personal theme song, what is it?
  4. What do you consider Earth's most powerful element? Why?
  5. If you needed help, what could you post online that would let people know, without saying you need help?
  6. Are you a dreamer or an achiever?
  7. How many items have you crossed off your bucket list? What are they?
  8. If you were a musical instrument, what would you be and why?
  9. Have you ever made a noticeable difference in someone's life?
  10. How judgmental are you?
  11. What emotion do you feel most often?

Final Thoughts on Questions to Ask Yourself to Find Out Who You Are

When thinking about questions to ask yourself, remember that there is no wrong or right answer. Questions like these do not have a correct response. The goal is self-reflection from the point of view of the past, present, and future. If you want to reflect your thoughts on paper, consider journaling. How To Start a Journaling Habit and Stick To It is a great resource. 

If you're looking for questions to get to know others better, here are some reading suggestions:

Finally, if you want to ask better questions, then watch this short, 20-minute course to learn how to have a great conversation with virtually anyone.

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