13 Habits to Increase Your Self-Confidence

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Becoming a confident person is essential to your success. I’m sure you can agree that when you see someone who is obviously confident in themselves, you take notice.  You may even think, “I wish I had confidence like that.”

We may feel like confidence just comes naturally to some and not to others. However, that isn’t always the case… a lot of factors go into play. Things like having supportive parents or teachers at a young age, or a partner who pushes you, are just two breeders of confidence.

If you are not naturally confident, don’t despair. You can achieve confidence with the knowledge you’ll gain in this article and implementing the action plans provided while establishing good habits.

Confidence can serve you well. Whether you’re breaking the ice at a party with strangers or in a job interview, confidence can help you feel more at ease even in awkward or stressful situations.

What is a Highly Confident Person?

You’ve seen them. Those people who can walk into a room and seemingly gain the attention of people… even before they interact with them. The key to having that kind of confidence comes from being self-assured.

These people recognize their self-worth comes from within, no matter what their circumstances. For a confident person, insecurity is virtually nonexistent.

A confident person is sure about their abilities, success, and beliefs. They exhibit certain traits and form certain habits that define a highly confident person.  

13 Habits to Increase Your Self-Confidence

Here is our list of habits and traits these folks possess, along with actionable steps you can take to become one yourself! Follow along and you will gain and sustain confidence like never before!

1. Learn to say ‘no.’

When you’re confident, saying ‘no’ looks different than if you’re insecure. A confident person recognizes that there are times when ‘no’ is the correct answer. Declining to do a task or meet up with someone may serve you well in keeping what’s most important top of mind.

Take action:

  • As a confident person, learn to say ‘no’ in such a way as to be firm but not off-putting.
  • Show respect to the person asking you to do something you’ve chosen not to do.

2. Stay humble.

A confident person will have a modest view of their own significance. They do not think of themselves as being higher or more special than any other human being. In fact, they elevate others and realize that does not diminish them.

Take action:

  • In your conversations, downplay your own accomplishments and build up the achievements of others.
  • Look for opportunities to put others' needs ahead of your own.
  • Become a servant leader .

3. Take risks.

Confidence can enable people to do things they were once afraid to attempt. They may exhibit a sense of adventure you won’t find in a less confident person.

For instance, think about the last time that you were at an amusement park. Think of the line of people waiting to ride a roller coaster. Remember those that were laughing and excited about the ride? They couldn’t wait until it was their turn. They were confident.

Now think of those that were quieter and looked a bit nervous. They had already convinced themselves it was going to be a scary ride. They had no confidence and were probably riding to appease someone else.

Take action:

  • To become more confident, take a few risks, as in trying something new. Is there anything you’ve wanted to do but you were afraid to try? Step outside your comfort zone.
  • When a quick decision must be made, step up and make it; be confident in your abilities to take the risk of making a decision and accepting the responsibility for it.

4. Only compete with yourself.

No matter how tempting it is to compete with others, especially in the office, a confident person will only compete with himself. Each day he will try to become a better person than he was the day before.

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Set challenges for yourself and then work to meet them.

Take action:

  • Listen to positive podcasts to experience exponential growth daily. Google podcasts have a variety, with my favorite being called “7 Good Minutes,” which can start your day in a positive direction.
  • When you’re working on your next project, try to up your game. Beat your own deadlines.
  • When you exercise, push yourself forward. Small, incremental changes can result in you reaching your fitness goals.

5. Be non-judgmental.

Have you noticed that highly confident people don’t stoop to judging others? Instead of focusing on someone else’s failings, they are more focused on their own life and how they can improve. It takes a lot of energy and bandwidth to judge others, and a confident person will find better uses for their time and energy.

Take action:

  • Rather than judging others, look for ways to improve yourself. Read self-help books, find a mentor, or be a mentor.
  • Do something to help someone less fortunate; volunteer at a homeless shelter,

6. Be comfortable in your own skin.

A confident person will accept many things about themselves that they would otherwise want to change. Whether it’s their weight or appearance, their self-assurance in who they are will win out over feelings of inadequacy.

Take action:

  • Learn to like yourself for who you are.
  • Don’t compare your life to others.

7. You don’t always have to be right.

Have you ever noticed how a confident person will admit when he is wrong? Their worth as a person is not wrapped up in perfection.

Take action:

  • Don’t allow petty differences to compel you to argue with your significant other, friend, or business colleague.
  • Believe in yourself and realize you don’t have to be perfect.

8. Understand that you do not have all the answers.

A confident person doesn’t need to know everything to be able to accept themselves and be content. He will find it perfectly acceptable to ask others who are more knowledgeable for advice or help.

Take action:

  • Get comfortable asking others for advice or help.
  • Accept that not everyone will see things as you do, and it’s okay.

9. Know how to lavish praise onto others.

Confidence brings out the best in people, and that includes how they treat others. Rather than bragging about themselves, they make an effort to celebrate the successes of others. Not only that, but a confident person will find joy in praising others.

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People who are confident about themselves will also celebrate the success of others.

They know that applauding someone else does not diminish their own personal worth. They also know that pouring praise into someone will build up that person. Richard Branson said, “Lavish praise on people and people will flourish, criticize people and they’ll shrivel up.”

Take action:

  • Be generous in extolling other people’s efforts.
  • Refrain from praising yourself. Be confident in your abilities and in who you are.

10. Speak with confidence.

Have you ever noticed that a confident person exhibits certain traits when speaking with someone? They maintain eye contact instead of looking up or down or off to the side. They also accept their own weaknesses and don’t mind sharing them with others.

Take action:

  • Speak as if you know what you’re talking about because you do.
  • Learn to feel okay during silent moments of conversations; you don’t need to fill in the void; allow the other person to lead the conversation.

11. Know how to be a good listener.

A confident person finds it easy to listen to others. They realize that hearing what others have to say can enrich their worldview and allow them to understand different perspectives.

Sometimes it’s easy to offer solutions immediately when a problem is presented, but listening to the full explanation can help you formulate better solutions and allow others to see you as someone they can trust to provide a well-thought-out answer.

Take action:

  • Next time you’re having a conversation, make a point to stop talking and let the other person share what’s on their mind.
  • Be careful not to try to “one up” a story your conversation partner is sharing. Let them have their moment. Listen.

12. Be ok with not getting all (or any) of the credit.

Confidence will give you enough self-assurance that you will not feel a need to take credit for everything you and your team accomplish. A confident person, instead, gives credit to others and empowers them to want to achieve more.

Take action:

  • Be a confident leader that steps in and helps others reach their goals, then steps back to allow them to get the credit.
  • Empower others, and you’ll empower yourself to move toward success.

13. Accept criticism graciously.

A confident person does not get upset when criticized. Instead, whether they agree with the criticism or not, they accept it graciously.

They know they have the power to use offered feedback to change or to ignore it if it doesn’t enrich their lives or further their careers.

Take action:

  • When someone offers you criticism, please take a moment to digest it before responding.
  • If you receive feedback you believe is unfounded, keep an open mind to think it through calmly. If you find your emotions are getting in the way, shelve the criticism and revisit it at a later time when you can be more objective.

Final Thoughts on Habits to Increase Your Self-Confidence

Once you take action toward adopting the habits and traits in this article, not only will you feel more confident… but others will most certainly notice your new-found confidence. They will watch the way in which you conduct yourself, how you walk and how you interact with others. You will exude confidence!

Acting on the suggestions in this article will work best for you when you use them often enough that they become a habit. A study included in the European Journal of Social Psychology states that it takes between 18 and 254 days for a person to form a habit.  The same study indicated that for the behavior to become routine, it takes 66 days.

So, while it may seem like you have your work cut out for you, this is not something that should derail your journey of self-improvement.  Once the habits form and your mindset conforms, you’ll find yourself experiencing more confidence in your day-to-day life.

So much so, in fact, you’ll be hard pressed to remember the days when you lacked such confidence.  You’ll now have the opportunity to find more success in your career, relationships and overall wellbeing.

Finally, if you need help with building habits, then check out this nine-step blueprint that walks you through the entire process of creating lifelong habits.)

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8 thoughts on “13 Habits to Increase Your Self-Confidence”

  1. This is a truly comprehensive post Daniela. I love the short definition i.e. confidence is to “trust oneself”.

    I think self-confidence is the essential foundation for all that we do. Without it we can’t achieve our full potential in work, social life, hobbies or relationships.

    No. 3 speaks loudest to me. Overcoming fear of what others think took me years to achieve and I still work on it. Learning to ignore the automatic negative thoughts through positive affirmations and meditation were the turning point.

    Super thanks for writing the article.


  2. Hey Daniela,

    Great post! I love that you mentioned that “Confident People Find Their Happiness From Within.” Far too often, people look to external sources for motivation or “happiness stimulus” which really aren’t forms of long-term motivation or fulfillment. Also, the advice you gave to reverse the process of seeking external validation are very practical and comprehensive. Anyone can learn so much from reading this.

    I have a system, called the TCS System, which helps someone build self-awareness to ultimately build self-confidence and achieve their highest potential. Come check it out on my website.

  3. Kindness in words creates confidence.  Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

    This is no fable. It hundred percent works.

  4. I sometimes feel low on confidence while talking with some other person. I am glad that I found this blog that shares ways to increase ones self-confidence. I tried out a few and it helped me. Thank you for shring

  5. I really loved this article. I am 26 and have very low self-confidence. I am going to learn all of this word by word so that I don’t forget even when I am sleeping.

  6. Thank you so much for this article! I was recently passed over for a promotion at my job for lack of self-confidence and that is the only reason! I’ve been working hard on that this past year but still didn’t get to the level they need. Fair enough – truly. My focus this year needs to be that I need to be more confident when I am client facing – this will help me a great deal. I am so very glad I found your article.

    Thank you.


    • Thanks Susan. Glad you liked the post. Keep working on that confidence. I am sure you will improve. For those of us that are introverts confidence and social glibness does not come easily. But with some effort and forcing ourselves into uncomfortable situations it can be done.

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