Mindful Relationship Habits Show Notes

Thanks for purchasing the audio version of Mindful Relationship Habits: 25 Practices for Couples to Enhance Intimacy, Nurture Closeness, and Grow a Deeper Connection.

I know what it’s like to listen to audio content. You hear an important link, but can’t immediately write it down. So I’ve put together these show notes of every link that’s mentioned in Mindful Relationship Habits.

IMPORTANT: As another way of saying “thanks,” I’m offering a free PDF version of this book. Just forward your Audible receipt to [email protected] and I’ll hook you up with a copy.

Table of Contents

Mindful Relationship Habits Notes

Access the Mindful Relationship Habits Companion Website
10-Minute Mindfulness by SJ Scott and Barrie Davenport
Third to a half of all marriages end in divorce.
Over 40% of people report unhappiness in their marriages
Dr. John Gottman has been able to predict whether a couple would divorce with over 90% accuracy based on six predictive factors.
Write It Out, Don’t Fight It Out by Barrie Davenport
Numerous studies confirm that happily married people enjoy better health than those who have never been married, particularly men.
Other research has shown that those who are in unhappy, stressful relationships have higher levels of inflammation, which is linked to a variety of ailments.
More research has shown that committed couples were 15–20% less likely to die prematurely than the population as a whole.
Studies show that living longer applies to happy couples—not conflict-ridden couples, twice as likely to die prematurely.
Research shows that those who get married and stay married have nearly double the wealth of those who never marry. If you count combined household income, that adds up to four times the wealth.
Recent research has shown that marriage is positively correlated with personal well-being and happiness. The effects are particularly profound during middle age when partners must cope with family demands and career stress.
According to marital and sex therapists, Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy in their book, Enduring Desire, couples who have been together for 15 years or longer enjoy the best sex.
“Happy couples have more sex,” according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University in an article for The New York Times.
If you and your partner regularly engage in destructive conflict that includes verbal aggression, your children are more likely to have mental, emotional, and social problems growing up, according to research.
There is a concept called ego depletion, which is “a person’s diminished capacity to regulate their thoughts, feelings and actions.”
As discussed in Tiny Habits, the best way to create a new routine is to make micro-commitments and focus on small wins.
According to the Hawthorne Effect, you’re more likely to follow through with a commitment when others are observing you.
Create an anonymous account on apps like Chains and Coach.me to track your progress.
Steve has a list of 155 ways to reward yourself on his blog.
The one tool that Steve recommends is Google Calendar.
Your level of emotional intelligence (EQ) has a profound impact on your relationship satisfaction and success, according to a number of studies.
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
Salovey and Mayer devised a model with four factors that they believe comprise emotional intelligence.
Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman
You can use this list of value words on Barrie’s blog, Live Bold and Bloom.
According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, cherish means “to hold dear,” “feel or show affection for,” “to keep or cultivate with care and affection,” and “to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely.”
Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage by Gary L. Thomas
Physical affection is so important that it’s tied for the number one reason couples seek therapy, along with communication issues, according to research.
A study published in The American Journal of Family Therapy states that partners involved in a romantic relationship feel more satisfied with their relationship when they are showing more physical affection toward each other.
Sean M. Horan PhD wrote an article for Psychology Today: Why Affection Means Everything in a Relationship,
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
Says ritual expert Donna Henes in an article for The Huffington Post, “A compelling urge to merge with the infinite, ritual reminds us of a larger, archetypal reality and invokes in us a visceral understanding of such universal paradigms as unity, continuity, connectivity, reverence, and awe.”
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
201 Relationship Questions by Barrie Davenport
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
To learn your own love language and your partner’s, take Dr. Chapman’s assessment to find out your primary and secondary love languages. You can downloading it as a PDF (or copy the link in your browser) and complete the assessment.
As new research on relationships has shown, this kind of support is highly effective in helping us better process information and create solutions.
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
A variety of studies have proven the mental and physical benefits of practicing loving-kindness meditation, including one that found practicing seven weeks of loving-kindness meditation increased love, joy, contentment, gratitude, pride, hope, interest, amusement, and awe.
Getting the Love You Want by Dr. Harville Hendrix
If you need some inspiration for feelings words, use this list of emotions on Barrie’s blog to help you.
A 2009 study underscores that anger from one spouse is a contributing factor to depressive illness in the other spouse.
Research has proven that venting your anger only makes you angrier.
There is a popular saying from the Erich Segal novel Love Story (and 1970 movie by the same name); one of the main characters, Jennifer, says to her lover, Oliver, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Studies reinforce that love does indeed mean having to say you’re sorry.
A number of studies reinforce the obvious: the more sex you and your partner have, the higher your relationship satisfaction, regardless of your age.
Why you should have more sex according to science
Hope Springs is a movie about a middle-aged couple whose marriage is unraveling.
Canadian researcher E. Sandra Byers found that rates of discussing sexual needs with an intimate partner, even in committed long-term relationships, were surprisingly low.
A recent study shows that when partners feel there is a more equal division of household chores, sexual intimacy improves.
Research underscores that playfulness plays a vital role in creating long-lasting relationships.
According to a study by the Marriage Foundation, couples that have a monthly date night are 14% less likely to break up.
Another recent study by The National Marriage Project called “The Date Night Opportunity” confirmed that date nights foster stronger relationships and marriages. Date night adds excitement and novelty to the connection, which leads to more satisfaction in the relationship.
If you get stuck, here are 50 creative ideas you can use to plan your next date night.
You might find this list of 101 positive affirmations useful in working to change your self-talk.
You might enjoy this app called Gratitude 365 to keep you on track with gratitude as a daily habit.

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Mindful Relationship Habits Show Notes

Mindful Relationship Habits Notes

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