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Do you remember when you were younger–maybe 12 or 13–and your parents would go out to run errands and leave you home alone?
If you’re like me, the second you heard that door shut and you had the house to yourself, you felt this incredible sense of unprecedented freedom to do whatever you wanted for the next few hours–and it was absolutely wonderful.
Fast forward however many years to the present, and, for many people, the formerly coveted time of having no one around may not feel quite as indulgent.
Of course, we all need some time to ourselves to either tend to our responsibilities or simply take a break from our hectic lives, but many people ultimately want to have someone in their corner to come home to at night.
During the pandemic, we have all had a little more “alone time” than we ever anticipated, and it’s probably fair to say that it was challenging for everyone. While some may think that social distancing was tougher for extroverts than it is for introverts, studies show that the opposite may actually be true.
Extroverts are more likely to be active on social media and keep in touch with friends–and they’re more likely to be resilient during these times and maintain hope for the future.
But, despite anyone’s personal characteristics or social tendencies, we’ve all were forced to navigate life a bit more solo than we’re used to during the COVID-19 pandemic. It undoubtedly affected everyone in unique ways. And even if you do have a family that you still come home to every night, that sense of isolation is still lurking.
Yes, the current collective practice of social distancing is a critical component of minimizing the spread of illnesses, but this same practice can have a large negative impact on people’s happiness and mental health.
In fact, having positive social interactions is among the strongest predictors of happiness, so is it possible to live a full life if your “social distancing” practice is set for a more long-term basis?
People come by happiness in various ways. Studies show that the three main things that make people happy are:
No matter what challenges, crossroads, and lifestyle changes you encounter, your happiness is what truly matters the most at the end of the day. And whether you live alone by choice or you just haven’t found the right partner, it is absolutely possible to live a fulfilling life.
Being Alone vs Being Lonely
Now, if you’re questioning how to do this, it’s important to distinguish between being alone and lonely because these are two different things.
Of course, if you don’t want to be alone, but you’ve ended up in that position, you may have a hard time resisting feelings of loneliness, which can negatively affect your health. And that is exactly what we are addressing in this article.
If you like doing things in solitude, it doesn’t necessarily make you antisocial or loveless. You are simply just content with your alone time, and you probably also look forward to it. That is what we describe as being alone. It is not what being lonely is.
On the other hand, if you are surrounded by people but find it hard to relate to them, you can feel very disconnected from everyone. You may still be longing for company because current company isn’t as engaging for you. This may be described as loneliness.
When you can identify and engage in the things that make you happy, practice self-care, maintain positive habits, and leave some room to challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone, you will be able to see how empowering being alone can be.
You can be happy alone and resist feelings of loneliness, and doing so will support you in living a full life.
Let’s look at 15 ideas for things you can do to live a life that you’re completely satisfied with while being on your own.
How to Be Happy Alone and Live a Full Life
1. Figure Out What Makes You Truly Happy
To figure out what makes you happy, you need to take the time to do some serious self-reflection and get to know yourself.
Now, you’re probably thinking, “I do know myself. How can you not know yourself?” But since you’re reading this article looking for tips to be happy and live a full life, then chances are, you haven’t yet found what really makes you tick.
The good thing about being alone is that it gives you the freedom to be selfish with your time and put your needs, desires, and ambitions above all others (as these being alone quotes suggest).
It’s time to set your short-term to-do list aside, take a break from your everyday process of “getting things done,” and consider the following questions:
Not only will answering these questions help you uncover what truly makes you happy, but it can also help you refocus your energy to head in a new (and improved) direction.
2. Give Yourself a Fresh Start
Yes, it is healthy to have a routine. But when looking back, if you can’t distinguish 2018 from 2012, you’ve taken the “routine” thing a bit too far. You have to keep yourself stimulated with things happening in your life and give yourself opportunities to grow and evolve.
It’s time to take an inventory of your bucket list and look more closely at new places you want to explore, skills you want to learn, and goals you want to ultimately reach in your life. Turn off your autopilot and get excited about the possibilities available to you.
And you can start small. Sometimes all it takes to feel refreshed and happy is to change something simple about your daily routine. Or maybe it’s time to rearrange your furniture or redecorate your house.
By changing something about your surroundings or your day-to-day life, you can start fresh and rid yourself of feelings that your life is stagnant.
Remember, part of being happy alone is realizing that you’re living for yourself and no one else. If you want to start a new hobby, do it. If you want to travel somewhere, do it. If you want to paint your living room neon yellow, do it.
The video below talks about the 12 best morning habits you can use to increase your focus, motivation, and energy for the rest of the day.
3. Practice Self-Love
Many of us are our own worst critics. We are often Striving for excellence and doing our best to get to the next level, striving for perfection. This leads us to unnecessarily beat ourselves up over our mistakes.
And when you’re battling with this inner bully and don’t have a partner to regularly remind you that you’re actually pretty amazing, it can quickly lead you down a path of depression and negativity.
Studies show that there are three main elements to having compassion for yourself:
There are a lot of ways to increase your love for yourself, which will prevent you from placing blame on yourself for things that are out of your control and increase your satisfaction with your life.
Here are some strategies to try:
Having some time alone will allow you to be mindful of your thoughts and surroundings. You will be able to feel happiness and peace and know that you already have everything inside of yourself that you need to be completely fulfilled.
If you’re at a low point, make an effort to get out of the house and be around friends and family and other like minded people who love you and will help you take your mind off of whatever it is that’s bringing you down.
If you find yourself avoiding making plans, try committing to something upfront. For example, pay for a 10-week kickboxing class or sports league. Once you have made that upfront commitment, you will be less likely to back out when it comes time to do it.
4. Exercise and Build a Healthy Lifestyle
Maybe it’s time to reconnect with yourself physically by starting a new exercise program that will help you get into shape, feel good about your body, and give you the numerous benefits of endorphins.
Working out shouldn’t feel like a chore, which is why there are some great programs like spinning, Zumba, or even Xbox games that allow you to work out with others while having fun. Some other ideas include:
The other part of building a healthy lifestyle is to look at your diet, which can impact both your mental and physical health just as much as your activity level. Keep a food journal for a week to get a quick reality check of your eating habits and make any necessary changes.
Look at both what and how much you’re eating. By controlling your portion sizes, you will help keep yourself healthier and happier and reduce feelings of lethargy. Also, be cognizant of times when you’re eating out of boredom or because you’re feeling sad.
Finally, let’s not forget about maintaining a positive sleep schedule, which is vital for having the energy to function optimally throughout the day.
One of the best benefits of being alone is taking up the whole bed without getting kicked or nudged in your sleep! And if you're feeling fatigued in the morning, you can check out this masterclass on how to increase your energy.
Remember, learning to manage yourself well in life and at work is vital to a happy life.
(Side note: One of the best ways to build a healthy lifestyle is to start each day by drinking this healthy green juice, which provides your body with a proprietary alkaline greens blend of organic wheatgrass, wheatgrass juice, and matcha green tea, supplying your body with the nutrients and energy you need to get through the day.)
5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
Sure, it’s easier said than done, but you don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors in someone else’s life. I look back on some pictures from years ago when I was out with friends, bar hopping and staying out late.
And, of course, I look like I’m having the time of my life, but I know I was miserable living that lifestyle. And I knew it at the time, too! But I’d smile for two seconds for the camera, of course.
Don’t keep track of the number of social activities you have per week if they aren’t things that are making you happy. Honestly, sometimes the best types of social plans are the ones that are canceled.
I don’t mean to sound like a recluse, but the feeling of having a last-minute free night to yourself instead of fighting traffic to get downtown after work to sit in a loud restaurant is elating… 9 out of 10 times.
So when you’re sitting at home scrolling through social media and seeing pictures of friends out and about, are you really jealous? Chances are, several people in that picture would probably rather be in your shoes than their own.
6. Find Your Passion and Cultivate It
Think of something you’ve always wanted to do.
Now is the time to do it!
When you’re alone, you don’t need to worry about anyone else’s schedule aside from your own. So pick something you’re passionate about that will challenge you and start pursuing it.
For example, if you love animals, why not volunteer once a week at your local shelter? Or, if there is a skill you’ve wanted to learn, go for it!
There is never any harm in trying something new, and sometimes it takes some trial and error and experimentation to find your passion. Trying new things will get you out of the house, allow you to be around new and positive people, and help you renew your confidence in learning new things.
7. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
While you don’t have anyone around disagreeing with your plans, take the opportunity to get out of your comfort zone by doing something new every week.
This will also help you meet new people and make new connections. This may seem difficult at first if you’re shy, so here are some steps you can take to help you overcome that.
As you’re looking for new opportunities to approach, don’t do so with the mindset of trying to “find” someone. Instead, do things that will benefit your inner self. If you end up meeting someone in a romantic sense, it will be someone that you genuinely have something in common with.
Stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things can lead to new friendships and amusing experiences. You just need to be willing to put yourself out there instead of waiting for things to come to you.
Be proactive in looking for things to do around your city, and when you’re out, be proactive in approaching new people. Seeing other people smile is contagious, so if you start the smile train, others will reciprocate, and you will both be in great moods.
A good way to get out of your comfort zone is to try a 30-day habit every month. Make sure to experiment by doing things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. You may even find some hobbies you end up adopting for a lifetime.
8. Use Your Alone Time Wisely
Many people might think that the answer to being happy is a simple one: just do things that make you happy.
However, due to psychological attachments, this is not true at all. You may enjoy chowing down on a quart of Rocky Road ice cream.
You may enjoy watching an entire season of Dexter in a single sitting. But will these things bring you happiness in the long run? No. They will bring you feelings of guilt and remorse.
Watching meaningless TV shows or eating your favorite comfort food might sound like a good idea at the time, but to achieve happiness, they are often counterproductive.
This doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself once in a while, but it’s best to use the time that you can constructively by getting to know yourself better, learning something, or challenging your mind somehow.
Read a great biography, watch an inspirational documentary, start a new business, or create a new website. Lose yourself in your art, music, woodworking, cooking, or other meaningful work.
Find a new creative outlet. What is something you have always dreamed of doing but have been putting off? Maybe it is a home improvement project or a class you want to enroll in. Give yourself time to do it!
If you end up not liking it, it is something you can cross off your list as you move on to the next great thing.
Need some inspiration? Spend all day at a gallery or museum and let your mind experience different reactions and emotions to the exhibits or educational experiences. Be wise with your time and make sure that you‘re satisfied with whatever you accomplished at the end of the day.
Because you’re alone at this point in your life, you have the opportunity to create something meaningful and spend as much time as you want to do the things that ignite your passions.
When you lose yourself fully in your work, you will become proud of what you have created, which will leave you feeling fulfilled and happy.
Creating SMART goals will help keep you motivated. Start small and focus on your most important tasks first. Once you get into a routine of positive habits, it will start coming naturally to you, and you won’t have to think twice before making efforts toward creating an amazing future for yourself.
Why not take this time to focus on one or two aspects of your life that you have wanted to improve? No matter what category your goal falls into, don’t let your aspirations remain on the backburner.
9. Learn to Appreciate the Present
Your life experiences have shaped who you are today, but that doesn’t mean you should hold onto your past mistakes. The only part of your mistakes that should dictate your future are the lessons that you got out of them.
Rather than focusing on the past, appreciate the small wins you’re making now and what they’re doing for your future. And make time in your busy schedule to stop and be mindful of the things around you, your achievements and the positive aspects of your life.
Don’t focus on the things that you don’t have; rather, garner an appreciation for the things in your life that you enjoy–no matter how small they are.
This leads us to…
10. Practice Gratitude for What You Have
Researchers have found that taking the time to recognize the good things around you can increase your positive emotions, improve your sleep, help you show more kindness and compassion toward others, and even strengthen your immunity.
It’s so easy to take everyday things for granted. Your house. Your car. Your family. Your job. Your education. The fresh flowers growing along the side of the road. Whatever you have in your life that brings you joy deserves a second thought.
In fact, the simple act of keeping a gratitude journal can significantly increase your satisfaction with life.
But, here’s the thing. This seems like a pretty easy fast track to improved life in theory. Write down a few things every night that I’m thankful for, and in turn, I can avoid catching a common cold?
Sure, I’ll do it–maybe for a week or two. But once I’ve written that I’m thankful for my family ten times, I’m probably going to put the book aside because I’m not feeling this flood of dopamine I was expecting.
And I don’t think I’ve become much kinder toward others because I just gave unsolicited advice to a coworker that–when read between the lines–said, “Your work sucks.”
If you can relate to this, you’re doing gratitude wrong. To benefit from practicing gratitude, you need to learn to stop and notice new things that make you happy every day. Gratitude journaling works because it slowly adjusts how you observe situations by altering your focus.
If you write down that you’re grateful for your family every day, it won’t keep your brain attuned to identifying the fresh, grateful moments that you undoubtedly experience regularly.
Because of this, be as specific as possible when you’re practicing gratitude. “Today, I was able to call my mom on the way to work just to chat” or “My husband left me a note this morning on the kitchen table, wishing me a good day.”
And be sure to stretch yourself beyond the great stuff right in front of you. Becoming more aware of your surroundings will enhance your gratitude practice. Try to notice new things every day.
11. Build a Strong Network of Family and Friends
As you become more accustomed to being alone, you may realize that you’re putting less effort into socializing. While there’s nothing particularly wrong with that, having a strong network of family and friends is still important.
Nurture the relationships you already have by arranging visits with people you’re close to or calling someone you haven’t spoken to in a while to catch up. Here are some tips to strengthen relationships or form new ones:
12. Recognize You’re Fine Being Alone
You add value to this world, and you don’t need someone else’s approval to recognize that. When you’re alone, be sure to remember that you’re alone because that is what you’ve chosen. The world hasn’t left you behind.
It’s easy to find just anyone to spend your time with, but when you have high standards for those whom you allow into your life, you’re acknowledging that you’re better off alone than with someone who is just there out of convenience.
13. Volunteer Your Time
There are so many ways to help other people by volunteering your time, whether you’re doing it in person or remotely from your home. Helping other people is rewarding, and doing so allows you to feel connected to your community and other people.
Being “alone” doesn’t mean you’re sequestering yourself from the rest of the world. It just means you have enough confidence to know that you don’t have to depend on other people to make you happy. And one good way to stay integrated with others is to surround yourself with the positive people you’ll find while giving your time to an objective that’s important to you.
Here are some great tips to help you find a suitable volunteering opportunity in your city that matches your skills and interests. It’s important to find something meaningful to you, so you don’t end up giving only 50% of your effort toward whatever you’re doing.
Make sure the organization’s needs are a good fit with what you have to offer, and once you find something, you will feel more fulfilled and satisfied with your life.
14. Make Plans for Your Future
Where do you want to be (both personally and professionally) in 10 years? What would be required to do to accomplish those goals? Writing your plans down will help guide your everyday decisions.
It’s pretty tough to feel good about yourself if you aren’t headed in some type of direction. Your plans don’t need to be extremely complex or overwhelming; they just need to exist. Once you have your plans, it’s easier to be proactive in taking action.
Don’t put your plans off. No matter what your goals are, go after them. Doing so will allow you to recognize that you’re living your life on your own terms, which will give you a sense of confidence that will attract new and interesting people into your life.
Having firm plans (that you can obviously modify as your life unfolds) can give you more hope and help you stay optimistic today about the opportunities for tomorrow.
It may even be in your best interests to take a solo trip. Find something to do that interests you, and mark the solo trip on your calendar. It will give you something to look forward to.
15. Accept Yourself for Who You Are
Now that you know how to be happy alone, it’s time to accept yourself for who you are and be positive about whatever comes your way.
Value your own opinion over anyone else’s because you know what’s best for yourself more than anyone else. If you feel like you truly need advice, reach out for it. But first, try turning to yourself for the advice you’re looking for.
The more you do this, the less you will rely on other people’s input. If you can trust yourself to handle your problems, you will become more confident, and you will be able to pursue challenges that you once thought were beyond your abilities.
You’re normal, and your quirks are what make you unique from anyone else. Once you accept these thoughts, your world will become brighter, and the opportunities will be endless.
Short Term Tips on How to Be Happy Alone
Now that we have covered several tips to help in the long term, let’s uncover a few short terms tips you should know about when learning how to be happy alone.
Practice Self Love
Self-love is something you can do in the short and long term. You aren’t learning to love yourself in isolation when practicing self-love because we don’t actually exist in isolation.
When we practice self-love, we are enjoying our time alone. We avoid falling into self-hatred and shame. We try things we could fail, but we think of ourselves when we do this.
We are not leading a lonely life; rather, we are finding ways to enjoy our alone time while developing a healthy relationship with ourselves.
Give Social Media a Break
We already talked about scrolling through social media above. If you find that doing so stresses you out or makes you feel left out, it can turn problematic. Remember, a social media feed and a few photos do not necessarily tell a full story.
You can never know if the people posting are really truly happy or if they are trying to portray that they are. Take a break from social media for 24 to 48 hours and see if it makes any difference in your life and how you feel.
Let Your Mind Wander
Allowing your mind to wander from time to time can do a lot of good. Set a timer for five minutes and eliminate distractions like tv, music, the internet, podcasts, and books. Close your eyes and just let your mind wander. See where it takes you.
Soak Up the Perks of Being Alone
Finally, take advantage of being alone and spending time with yourself. Use up all the space you have because you can, and it’s yours. Spread out and get into a new hobby or revisit a previous hobby you may have given up.
Not done with what you’re working on? When you are alone, you can leave everything out so you can get back to it later. It is your space and your time to do as you please.
When to Seek Professional Help for Loneliness
You should never be afraid to ask for professional help if it is needed or even reach out to a family member or trusted friend for support. Sometimes, self care, exercise, and practicing gratitude aren’t enough to shake the feelings of loneliness you may have.
If you feel overly stressed, have difficulty coping, or experiencing feelings of anxiety or depression, seek help from a mental health professional.
Final Thoughts on Living a Full and Happy Life Alone
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” – Wayne W. Dyer
Embrace this time alone and make the most of it by getting to know yourself through self-reflection and developing the confidence that you deserve.
It is absolutely possible to be happy and live a full life without having someone next to you at all times. Follow the tips laid out in this article to put yourself on a positive path toward living your best life.
When you’re alone, maintain a routine that you enjoy, make an effort to stay connected to loved ones, and find a hobby that feels fulfilling. Being happy alone is about making consistent efforts toward self-improvement and feeling empowered to be able to trust your own decisions.
Self-awareness is key to fulfillment and happiness. So if you're looking for resources to understand yourself better, be sure to read these articles:
- 8 Ways to Be More Self Aware Throughout Life
- 9 Examples of Self Awareness Throughout Your Life
- 33 Self-Awareness Activities for Adults and Students
All good stuff, SJ. I just wanted to add that it is important to learn not so much how to be happy about being alone, but learn to be happy by yourself – ‘I am happy because I am happy’, regardless of relationship status.
It may look like I’m nitpicking, but I wanted to make this distinction because of the perception that other people can make us happy (or unhappy), particularly when it comes to relationships. I truly believe that the only person who has the power to make me happy is myself. it’s very empowering, but also not easy to accept, because you have to accept the ownership and responsibility for your unhappiness.
cheers
Joanna
Joanna,
I agree 100%!! We are certainly in charge of our own happiness and have to learn to love ourselves before worrying about any relationship. Others can provide support and enjoyment, but your happiness will always come from within.
yes that is correct just like what trolls movie line that goes Happiness is in you in yourself u just have to find it. 🙂
Joanna…..
Thank you for that . You are right that we are responsible for our own happiness .i believe we put to much burden on another , when we look to another to make us happy .
Leon
Hi…
It’s sad to say but I’m just realizing that, it’s my responsibility to make myself happy. For years I’ve been in different relationship looking for happiness.
I will often find myself getting in huge arguments with my partner, telling him he don’t know how to make me happy. Not realizing it wasn’t his responsibility. Now”IM” TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE “ME”…HAPPY!
You are so right! We cannot let our happiness depend on others. We can love them, support them and get supported in return. But ultimately our happiness depends upon ourselves, in a relationship or not!
I’m a therapist and so often see people who are terrified of being alone. They’d rather stay in a soul sucking bad relationship than face being alone. As my friend said, it’s a distraction from existential despair. It’s feels so good when I see someone take the risk to make the changes and then discover how wonderful it can be to find happiness in solitude (which does not mean lonely).
Holly, I’ve met those people, too.
I like the description: A distraction from existential despair – I think it reflects well the nature of the beast 🙂
Anna,
Nice to hear from you glad you found the site!
I am sorry to hear about your earlier toxic relationship. IT is great you overcame it however, so kudos!
Meeting your guy sounds like a scene from a movie. Very romantic!
Hi Anna
Love your story my dad was an alcoholic too, my home Was chaos from a young age with my mum and dad fighting,I then went into a relationship the exact same ir was all I noo, I attract men who are not good for me, im just out another alcoholic relationship so I feel now something has clicked in me and that is learn to love myself and then things will fall into place SMALL STEPS
Yes, Holly, I also have a lot of friends and relatives that prefer being in an unhealthy relationship rather than sating on their own. I read somewhere that the number of people who don’t have a partner is very low in general. Everyone has experienced being single for a while. However, I am since a few years single and for the moment don’t plan to indulge myself in any relationship. Of course, I am very young (still) but sometimes I am aware I am a way too single.
A psychiatrist once told me that for women is not common to live singlish, while men could be single.
Antara,
Seems a little sexist in this day and age for the psychiatrist to imply that it is OK for men to be single but not women. Maybe he/she was just stating facts.
There is certainly no need to rush things. I am approaching 40 and have spent most of my life single. (engaged now) There is certainly no need to accept any sort of subpar relationship. Sounds like you are doing it right -you are still young, enjoy it!
#6 is so counterintuitive, but so right. Comfort zone is a comfort pit.
As to #8, jumping back years in time is very powerful. We grow all the time, but we cant’t realize this in daily hussle. Such exercise always make me happier 😉
It’s so funny how we often crave what we don’t have. Because I’m a mom, a wife and a small business owner I have quite a full schedule from day to day. Reading #1 made my heart ache a little bit – the thought of sitting down with a glass of wine and watching a marathon of my favourite show sounds like absolute heaven to me.
Don’t get me wrong, I am SO grateful for all of the blessings in my life, but would sometimes really like a good chunk of time to just spend quiet time with me.
Julia Kristina
Hi Scott. I think it’s necessary to have a right mindset to be happy. I have also created a presentation on Slideshare about how wrong mindset holds us back. Please look at it and let me know what you think about it http://www.slideshare.net/aniketkaushal/2015-change-your-beliefs-be-happy
Your article has given me a new perspective on happiness. Now, I think if people start with changing their habits then it might help them automatically develop a healthy mindset and belief system.
I don’t relate at all,I am 56 and have always been alone.There was one i loved and let slip away for many reasons that had nothing to do with her,nothing is worse then being alone,and i will rest when this life is over
Hi Daniel, I know how you feel as I’ve had similar experience. I know how hard it is to be alone, and especially so as we get older. I let my bf go and while I try to put it in the past, it’s a deep regret. I need to work on letting that go as well. Don’t give up, yet. I don’t know where you but there are meetup groups where you can meet people. There are none where I live and meeting people here that I could consider friends is difficult. I’m thinking of moving but I don’t know where. It’s all a challenge. Try to keep your spirits up and love yourself
Daniel, I read your post and was deeply moved by your comment about your being 56 and deeply alone. …and that you regretted letting your bf go. …..I think there is alot of wisdom in your comment. …. I am currently in a situation where I am wrestling heavily with trying to find peace with someone I care about deeply who is gone from my life geographically. There are real signs they don’t care anymore and I just don’t know if I can be happy without them still in my life in some manner. Any advice…would be greatly appreciated. This person, tho toxic, was the love of my life.
healthy mind rejects suffering within. therefore individual breakaway from others
who are heading different directions for their happiness. win-win situation brings harmony and happiness to all. (thoughts govern the universe.it changes our destiny for good)
Really nice article. Very inspiring. We don’t need anyone or anything to be happy. We can be happy alone.
It was really nic.. If some one leave ad go means does not mean that we can’t live with out them…we can live alone we born alone ad we gonna die alone so y in middle this relationshis
Hello SJ,
Recently, I got divorced not by choice. It disturbed my life to a greater extent. Now when I went through my article, it actually gave me a ray of hope. I am now serious to implement this in my life. Thank you for posting such great stuff.
Regards,
Joe Gomez
Recently I experienced relationship breakup which I never want to but unfortunately it happened. I suffered from severe depression finally I come to know that I loved her more than me that was the real problem I felt that my happiness is with her but later I come to know that happiness lye within us no one comes and give you that you should create your own happiness so that our heart wont be a puppy of others. Really the above content is very helpful for me I will follow and I will be the who creates my own happiness.
Sharath,
I am glad that you found the article useful, but of course soprry for your relationship issues. It always sucks!
Also glad to hear, however, that you have come to the realization that real happiness comes from within and cannot be based upon others. Sounds like you have turned the corner… best of luck to you!
Sounds good and easy reading, but application of such, like a book of directions, as for me, people and a special person in my life, IS WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. Other than that, i’m miserable as hell.
Enjoyed reading many of the above suggestions which I will use to find happiness within. I’m currently taking on the challenge of learning to care of myself first,finding happiness within and not fear being alone. Ultimately break out of thinking my joy could only come from having company, caregiving and pleasing others. I recently had a friend who I called/spoke and visited daily for 15 years. In my routine I recently found him passed away in his home. Since then, I’ve avoided rescueing so many that fueled my own happiness and now feeling miserably alone. Expecting rescuers to come my way and make me happy, made me realize I needed to think positive, find love and happiness within myself, for myself, by myself. ?
I was extremely low, browsed and found this stuff, feeling so relieved , always looked for my happiness entwined around someone else, while people create wonders single-handedly. Definitely gonna try and use ways to live all by myself. Thank you so much for this. 🙂
I certainly agree with finding a passion, as this is what is missing in most people’s lives, and when you find something to be passionate about, you are definitely happier.
It is interesting, though, that we can find plenty to be unhappy about, we don’t need a reason to be unhappy, but we have to look for reasons to be happy.
Great point about not needing reasons to be unhappy. I know people who seemingly have everything, who are constantly unhappy, and others who struggle financially who are very content. So much of happiness is attitude, and like you mentioned, it is very easy to fall into a rut.
How about if i didn’t like being alone .. i knew some silly people .. they just think ridiculously .. hang out ridiculously .. and even Joke ridiculously !!! .. however They made me love being lonely anyway ! .. i just miss my old people not to be lonely ! .. but i think Being lonely can reform my personality .. my behaviour .. and make me able not to be sad any more ! .. hope so .. so let’s try !! 🙂
Hi
I have a mother…… Alive…. It doesn’t approve of me having too much of a social life and doesn’t approve of me living alone. Can someone be happy without being able to have any independence?
I thank you for these tips, i really don’t know what i am going to do after my life broken into pieces. Yes, i know that life is still go on no matter what happened in the past . I’m a simple girl who eventually give fully love for others , i forgot that myself need my loves and cares too. After all its all gone 🙁 …
but i think i need to start a new beginning now .. I CAN DO THIS . I’M BRAVE, I FIGHT FOR THIS .. I BELIEVE …someday i can smile ….—– SO ….. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK YOU ,I HAVE NOW AN IDEA HOW TO GET OVER …I CAN STAND AGAIN….
Same problem in my life
I have been alone for over 5 years and have to say, it hurts. I was married for 31 years and with my ex-husband for six years before that. I had never lived alone before; and am still trying to come to terms with it. My two kids live local but I generally only see them for a few hours once a week (or less).
Since the breakup things have not improved for me. I go to work each day; I’ve joined social groups, but discovered many of the women in these groups are not nice people, and go out of their way to hurt others, so I’ve given up on that. More recently I’ve been watching many episodes of a few good tv programs, which I enjoy, but also realise there must be more to life than this!
I occasionally drag myself to the gym – which I used to go to religiously at least 3 times per week before the breakup, now I just don’t feel like going.
Not sure what else I can do. Sorry, most of the posts above are positive, I wish mine was too.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Even if it has been a negative one.
It sounds like you are doing some of the right things too, trying to find social activities beyond your relationship. It’s a real shame that some of the women can be catty and nasty like that. I wouldn’t give up on finding social activities just because of those few nasty women, though. I would like to be optimistic and think they are the exception rather than the rule. Have you thought of treating yourself to an adventure?
Something to break the doldrums of everyday living? I am guessing you are in your late 50s or early 60s by your years adding up your years married and single.
Something like a trip to Europe could bring some excitement to your life. IF the dollar is a bit tight, it can even be “fairly” inexpensive if you stay places like elder hostels.
Just a thought. I do wish you the best of luck, and I wouldn’t give up on trying to socialize with others, you may just have to look beyond the group of nasty women.
Best of luck,
Steve
Hi S.J!
First of all I’d like to say sorry because of my english not good and I write so long just to share some experience.
I’m from Cambodia I’m 23 years old and I really like your acticle.
One year ago after I graduate I worked for a TV channel, as a Social Network Admin. I had a relationship with a guy but my family don’t like him, because he can’t finance himself. I knew my parents just worry about my future living but I wanted to prove it. I told my boyfriend I want to start a small online business and I hope he will support me and we can do it together. after one week the business ran so well but he started to get boring he didn’t want to help me. I was so busy at TV station plush I have to make order for my customer, reply their message packaging goods and contact with delivery company. I’m so sad he said that I don’t care about him I just think about money in fact I tried so hard just because I wanted to be with him just to prove my parents. after few months the thing got worse and we broke up. after I broke up I quit my job and my online business also closed and I was getting sick, I lost 5kg. Since that day my dad not allow me to go anywhere just stay home and relax. I don’t live with my parents I live with my younger sister and I always alone when my sister go to school. For the first 3 week I felt so hurt so lonely I lose hope I missed him I cried almost everyday. I tried to read many articles to make me feel better to inspire myself and start doing many habits. I did some house work I learned to cook I got a pet (now I have 2 rabbits :)) , DIY recycle things, gardening and I don’t care about anyone I started to love being alone. For three months I didn’t go anywhere but I really enjoy my time alone.I’m getting stronger and I know myself better. After 3 months my health and my heart got better and I’v got a new job but I had a hard time working with some people and so stressful moreover I don’t know why now I realy into western guys but I am Asian and I’m so shy and my English not good I don’t know how to approach them.I hanged out with a western guy for the first time but it really disappointed we just watch movie we didn’t talk much and he texted everytime even in movie time he didn’t respect and we never go out again.I felt lonely again but your aticle remind me how to be happy. And I listed something new in my schedule,Dota 2 and Yoga and I had a trip to a beautiful place it has mountains forest and it is a silent place and those things help me a lot. 🙂
Thank you for this good aticle!
Hello, Marina!
First of all your English is quite well! Well done!
Secondly, thank you for sharing your story. You are so young but yet so wise, and courageous, and optimistic!
I’m 32, single all of my life, up to this moment I was very desperate to find myself a guy and have a relationship – but eventually, my torpedoed actions only led to guys flee from me…I’ve had a depression twice in my life – feeling completely worthless and unachieved / looser about not having a family, kids, not even a boyfriend, but miraculously both times I found strengths to face new day, I think mainly because deep down in my core I knew that the only person that can save me and make me happy is MYSELF. Of course, little medication did its job… Anyhow, after numerous attempts and desperation to find a guy to stay and commit to me – I realised that I’m the one responsible to commit to loving myself regardless of my social status. I’m single, but I’m not alone. It is OK to be single. It is oh so natural to love yourself before anyone will love you. And I’m willing to do it EVERY DAY and while doing it I surrender the sweet thought/hope underlying deep within that my actions will be benefited in the future in the form of finding the right guy… Yes, I admit, this is where I stand now, and I’m asking for a Miracle to shift that idea and surrender to the thought that there might be no guy in the end, but just me SOLO yet happy…
I found this article very useful and inspiring.
Thank you S.J.
Hello sir,
This above articles could realy helped me how to live alone happily..i was so much addicted to various social medias and other chating sites..But one day i came to know and realized what is life with only chating, rather we can live our life much happly than now by socializing with people outside and to do things which you really like to do. I have done so many mistakes in my life and now turned to 27. But i want my life to be happy but want to lookafter my parents at same time. I really got best ideas from your detailed articles which i could defenatly make use of it in my own life..thanks alot
Regards,
Naveen Narayanan
It is great I have come across your thoughts on “BEING ALONE’. I have started practising being alone for one week. It is greatly rewarding.
As a first step I started being in my home, and will not move out. Then focus on the jobs immediately tobe done in the house. Focus and achieve it. This is greatly de-stressing and get ample to time tobe thoughtful and helps in improving self-love and improving healthier relations with our contacts outside and family members.
Regarads, Thank U.
I googled ‘how to live a happy life alone’ and I got you.
Thank you!
This is a wonderful, wonderful discussion.
I am sure that it will motivate many people.
It’s motivating me.
Lear to be Alone and tolike.There is nothing more Freeing and empowering than Learning to like your own Company….
I just moved into my own little place and I am alone. Most of my life I have lived with someone and It’s been hard trying to think of what makes me happy as I have always pleased everyone else. Your article has helped to look at myself and figure out what makes ME happy! Thank you again for your article!
I am mostly very content with being alone because I can plan my day and the next one exactly how I want it to be. I am a student, so most of my time goes to studying. If a friend wants to study with me, I tell them no because I know I can focus better alone and not feeling stressed by comparing myself with them.
However, this is my first time living “completely” alone. I’m renting a room in an apartment in another town than I grew up in (still quite close though) and shares the apartment with my cousin’s sister-in-law. She’s not here most of the time, so I have most of the space for myself, which is nice. I’ve lived here for a little bit more than half a year now. But I grew up with my parents and big brothers (who are still living with mom and dad)and always been surrounded with family members. All of my friends live very close to my childhood home as well. Here, in my university town, I feel so alone from time to time. Classmates hang out with each other, but no one asks me to come. I probably wouldn’t go either (have to step out of my comfort zone I guess), I usually turn offers down because… I don’t really know why. I just don’t like parties. I prefer having a nice talk really than dancing to lame songs with strangers.
There’s lots of activities to do in my uni town as well, but none interests me. So I feel kinda stuck. All I do is studying, going to lectures, come home and make dinner, relax and then go to bed. Day after day. And I hardly have any “real” friends here, all my besties are at home.
I dunno, I just felt like letting it all out. I guess no one cares really. Thanks for reading though.
First of all why one need to think that he/she is alone? I never think that I am alone. The power that created this wonderful world and which created me is always flowing in me as universal life force energy or in India we call it Pranashakthi while I breath in and out. The very feeling of loneliness comes because of not being connected with the universal power which is responsible for the creation of the universe and me. How can you feel the presence of that power within yourself? Stop doing anything for 5 minutes. Sit relax, take a deep breath and release breath, observe your normal breathing. So long as you observe your breathing there will not be any thought because there can be only one thought at a time. As you practice this breathing awareness meditation and increase the frequency per day and also the duration from 5 minutes to maximum 15 minutes per session you will learn to be with yourself and when you are with yourself you are with your universal self. Then you will learn to detach yourself from the physical world around you at your will and also attach yourself at your own will. You become an expert in attaching to the world for the sake of survival and experiencing the sensuous world and enjoying it in its all respects and when you feel like relaxing you know how to detach yourself and enjoy being with yourself and your higher self. This is called living in Vairagya which means living without Raga [attachment] and without Dwesha [Aversion] . You will transcend from your likes and dislikes and start loving yourself and everything around you and in the universe as IT IS. This is called ART OF NON DOING . More you learn to live doing nothing [not even having any thought] more you will enjoy life . You will enjoy the food that is available for you, the relationships you have, the job /business you do to earn money , love, romance, sex , travelling etc. As long as you do not learn NON DOING you will not enjoy DOING ANYTHING , HAVING ANYTHING AND BEING ANYTHING.
Shripathy Rao,
THANK YOU! This is exactly what I needed…. I’ve troubles with meditation, but after I read your comment, I think I can try again and give 5 minutes to trying out meditation once again.
Hugs,
Me
Sorry…load of crap! How can anyone be happy alone? I for one will never be! Nobody to talk to, share things with, touch, kiss, love, sex, passion, romance, intimacy, do things with, complain to, help, support…nothing…absolutely nothing!
Thanks for you opinion John. Let me point out that I am not saying you need to live a life in a box with no human contact whatsoever. My point is that even though most people crave some human connections there is still ways to live a fullfulling life without them. You should strive to work on yourself and your issues. You don’t need your personal happiness to be dependent on others. If a relationshhip is something you desire above all else, it will come in time.
I totally understand you. Sure, there are things that I enjoy doing on my own, but the article states that one should find out what makes them happy. Kissing, hugging, sex, intimacy, being able to walk through life with a partner on their side, someone to accompany you through the good times and the bad times. All of those things make me happy and are impossible to achive on my own (or with friends and family). Without this I can’t be completely happy because something is always missing.
I’ve been alone all my life. And yes at 29 and never had any relationship… i always remind myself that in everything i do. Self control is always the Key. It feels good to accomplised many things. It was until i got pressured by my peers that i decided to a be little flirt. I never wanted that because i value my self that much.. and i feel cheap doing that. However, i lost myself in the process and i think i can’t get rid of my thoughts toward this person. Worst, He rejected me. I’m trying to be cool. But it seems everything in my life seems so vague. I even failed in my exam to include not being able to focus in my study. I hate myslef most of the time. And its as if all my dreams and passion are loosing it’s esence. Don’t know what to do. I’m trying really trying to be alone again inspired.
Happiness can’t be found outside but inside you. Your article inspires me to write more article similar to this. You may also interested in my blog post pertaining to this topic http://psychlens.com/happy-life/. Thank you for sharing this post. Let’s make the world happier!
Thanks alot @ SJ. Maybe one day i ll be a great person👌
Hello I’m single and trying to be more happy. This article is helpful
While these are good points for those who are looking to accept false teachings, living alone is not the way mankind was intended to live. When Adam took note that every creature had a mate he felt alone. Did God give him tips to learn to be happy living alone? No. God created a partner. Why? Simple. Self love or love of self is pride. Pride is a sin. Pride is the sin that caused Lucifer to rebel and be cast from heaven. Love yourself all you want, but understand that alone is not what you were created to be and love of self is the reason this world is in such despair. Btw, I too am alone and burdened daily with sadness and loneliness daily.
I totally agree with point number 4, The exercise and having a healthy lifestyle point.
In order to be happy having healthy habits is a must. when you are healthy physically you are automatically healthy mentally as well.
I loved this topic. I’ve also written a blog post about “how to be happy” check that one also. Make sure you leave a comment there. HAPPY READING 🙂
It is physically, mentally, emotionally impossible to be happy alone! Unless you’re missing a gene….
There are sooo many facets of life that are simply missing! Passion, romance, chemistry, emotionl intimacy, affection, just to name a few, can not be had alone…period.
Single and Happy! Methinks he doth protest too loudly… No one is truly happy alone unless they choose to be and I would suggest that the majority of us do not choose to be. We are human, we need companionship. Putting aside physical needs, which is a sadness in itself and not cured by joining a library or going to the gym, having no one with you to share your life, joy, fears and experiences with when you get home at the end of the day is awful. I am a reasonably confident person, a professional, with a good job, financially secure and generally happy BUT when I look to the future as a single person, it’s a cold, empty place. Get out and about – go to an art gallery/museum; go on a trip to Europe – and who do I debate the merits of a painting with or the sunset on a beach ? Nothing would/does make me feel more isolated than wandering around public places such as art galleries, or even the supermarket, alone. This just heightens my sense of unhappy singledom. Rule No. 1 Figure out what make you happy: what makes me happy is being in a loving relationship so I’ve fallen at the first hurdle – now what…
Hi Alison,
I am in the same boat. It is ingrained in my mind that only companionship can make me happy. I follow every sports, work out every day, i am golf fanatic and work hard on it. But still end of the day i want to talk to someone when i get home from work. i need to hug someone in the night, last thing in my life i want to be alone. All my friends have family, i keep on thinking why is it just me. I am sure there are lot of people like me. I guess time heals everything, i used to be worst but in 5 years things have gotten better.
Dear self,
Please make sure to love yourself first so that you can find happiness to your inner-self. You should not think of doing a revenge it’s time for you to think about your future and pursue your dreams. It’s not too late to composed yourself again. Fill yourself of happiness and just like what you have read from the article. You need to try new things that you haven’t try before. You’re free and come to think about it; if you confined yourself from self-pity, feeling guilty and longing for forgiveness; it will worsen things. Always think that everything happened for a reason, we all knew that you lost in a fight and that was your first serious relationship that turned into failure. We need to go back to basic before you’re into that relationship who’s Jerry is? Is he always sad, worrying for someone’s uncertainties. Is he who’s trying to let his world go round with only one person ignoring his family and friends. Absolutely it’s not Jerry. You committed yourself with someone else because of pure love, you committed mistake and you’re been asking forgiveness for it. You’re been anxious and depressed for the long time having that guilt. Why not to turn things round, you should think of yourself now. We all knew that you’re born optimistic and always keep in mind that the purpose of falling in love to that wrong guys is to help him and love developed because of it. We also knew that you’re having hard time to move on and forget him. Don’t think of what ifs about your past relationship, what if you think about your dreams and goals on life. Be thankful that you’re given that kind of relationship and you’re given a chance to enjoy it. Always keep in mind that happiness will always start with yourself and you really need to accept changes and that’s the only way that you’ll be happy. You’re unique and beautiful so be happy Jerry. Lot of people love you
That’s what i am looking for right now because after you spend enough time at job you don’t enjoy being working so i want back that positive attitude i had when i joined so looking for these type of information and found out your article and i think its working so thank you, loved your article.
Happiness is a matter of choice. Some people who experience serious problems usually think that happiness is impossible in negative situations. But actually, it is not. Anyone can be happy if he/she will choose to. Hi, my name is Robinson and I am also a blogger. I write about happiness and other psychological topics. Recently I wrote about how to be happy every day. Maybe my article can add a little information for your readers. Thank you so much for allowing me to share my thoughts here. More power!
I think everything wrote was very logical. However, what about this?
suppose you composed a catchier post title? I am not suggesting your information is
not good, but suppose you added something that
grabbed people’s attention? I mean 9 Ways on How to
Be Happy (and Live) Alone is kinda plain. You should
glance at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they write post headlines to grab people interested.
You might try adding a video or a related pic or
two to grab readers interested about everything’ve
written. Just my opinion, it could bring your blog a little livelier.
Fair and balanced write up. Great tips. Self love is th key to a fulfilling life of happiness
The single and lonely life can be very depressing and unhealthy since you’re always by yourself which certainly isn’t fun at all, especially if you really hate it. Being single also has so many disadvantages as well since wherever we go anywhere we really are all alone. And the married life is the best of all since you’re always together wherever you go since there are so many other advantages to being married as well.
Being single and all alone without a love life really sucks.
i want to live alone but i am not happy with myself. i want to share my feelings with someone but i cant. i don’t know how to make friends. i have a many friends but i don’t know why i cant survive with them.
Hi, Thanks for your great article. Actually, I think All these means is that instead of hiding from failure, insanely successful people anticipate and integrate failure into their lives in ways that transform it from an end into a means. We all love a good secret. But the truth is, when it comes to success, there’s no such thing. So start small, but start today. Wish you all the best.
Hi,
I am married have 2 kids and divorced, i am 42 years old, had relationship with a person age of 29 yrs. he was searching all the way to ditch me. but i am unable to live with out him. finally he left me. missing him lot trying to divert my mind with my kids and many ways.. nothing is helping me.
This is great article. Living alone is mentally very healthy. No need to find out “how to live happily alone”. If we get a chance to live alone, be thankful and enjoy the peaceful life.
Hello everyone,
I am from Nepal. Honestly speaking I have attempt suicide for twice. I was literally broke up and still passing through the same phrase. I was always sacred of loosing people who was near by my heart. In fact i was scared of being alone. My parents are separated I have 2 sisters unmarried. I live with mom and sisters and father is always out of country. Frankly speaking I could not find the love and emotional support from them may be I never tried to understand, I grown up alone , of course I used to stay with them but whatever I did I was never supported by them, they loves me but i never found so much closeness towards me. I always seek a person who love me beyond the boundary, who cares about me, who can suggest me to do correct things and who scold me of doing stupidity.
I was broke up twice and when I was broke up last time I could not found myself locked in a room for many days, sometimes i walked whole overnight more than 20-25 km from my home location. I always feel that I will never be that lucky person who can be loved and cared by someone. I always tried to make myself happy by doing many things like watching movies , engaging in an office and clerks but at last I feel alone because when the sun sets I was alone, nobody calls me asking for doing what and nothing else. I was always left by the people somebody comes to my life they pretend of loving me caring me and after few days they just turn their faces off , and I will be surprised why did they left me and I ask to them the same questions and you know what they answers me like you are a good person you deserve better than me…. They comes close to me for a few days and just left, I dont know whats wrong with me or they are the wrong person with whom I was seeking for a love.
I am living alone now . I am doing my graduations and hanging in a part time job for my monthly expenditure.
I felt good to read about your all life what have you gone through and how you all have overcome from that sucking life. I really wish a better luck and many many wishes to all of you guys.
If I could message you for the next time also than, think that I am alive.
Thank you for reading friends.
Ashmit Basnet
Nepal